Needing to vent.

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Hey all.. I'm new to all this.. Just need to vent. I'm a caregiver to my mother in law who has stage 5 kidney disease.. Who is on dialysis.. Just feeling stressed and feeling guilty.. I'm in my mid 20's so I feel guilty Just for wanting to away for a bit.. She has no family besides me and her son. My hunny works and is away at work most of the day.. So it all falls on me. So I get all her emotions and her anger for being sick. I'm starting to feel bad that I'm venting to my mother. And that I don't spend much time with her. :( so I'm trying to balance it all..


I can understand you feeling stressed but you have NOTHING to feel guilty about.Your lucky husband has "dumped" the care of his mother on you if you haven't noticed. How guilty does he feel?Who takes her to dialysis because that is probably 3 times a week unless you are doing at home dialysis?You better sit that husband down of yourse and put your big girl pants on let him know things HAVE to change.Believe me, unless you stand up for yourself he will continue to "escape" his responsibilities of caring for his mother by using work as an excuse, well you are at work also , it just happens to be at the house being a 24/7 caregiver for his mom.Also, I bet you aren't making an hourly wage caring for his mother. You are not a bad person, who are tired,stressed and need to have a very adult talk with your husband about this situation that can't continue like this. Keep coming to this site, it is a great place to vent, no judgements.
Thank you for the encouragement .. Happy I found this site!! :)
Venting is healthy. So is farting. Do both every day.
You are a sweetheart, Meli. Does your MIL need someone with her all the time? or can you leave for a few hours to have time to yourself? If she needs someone all day, check about getting some respite care come in every week.

It also sounds like your husband and you might need a week or two to yourselves. I was wondering if your MIL might have enough money to go into a care facility for a week or two so that you and hunny can take a vacation. The dialysis is a special consideration here. The facility would have to be one that could accommodate the dialysis.

Caregivers have to be able to take time for themselves. When we don't, we quickly find that anger and depression start creeping in. We have to be able to refresh ourselves. Maybe someone at the dialysis clinic will know of respite opportunities available to you. If they don't, maybe your MIL's doctor will have an idea.
lol ! Yes very healthy! Lol I find my self only having been on this site only 1 day .. I feel much more at ease that I'm not alone!!! What I go thru. she doesn't need someone there all the time.. But I WORRY a lot.. MIL wants to do things on her own.. She can't physicaly do it.. She has hard time walking .. She was a cane .. We just went on first little weekend trip to get away me and my husband.. My mother who is a angel stayed with her.. On diyalsis days she sleeps most of the time but lately it hasn't been going that great. But I feel guilty just wanting to go to target , Walmart by my self..then I feel bad that she doesn't get out much . MIL doesn't drive.. So I'm driver.. My husband helps on weekends when he's off just to give me a little break .. I feel bad when she crys.. I try to comfort her.. But thank you guys for listening..
My aunt has alzhiemer .she called and ask me to be her poa.and out of the blue .she fires caregivers cant keep up with her money and paying bills.but, want let me do anything.shes so confused and para.noid. what do i legally p.o.a.
You can relinquish the POA. Is a successor named? If not contact the attorney that prepared the POA to tell you want to quit. If no successor of if because of cognitive problems then contact Adult Protective Services tell sthem yhe issues, and your desire to quit. They would have to find a way, perhaps by filing guardianship application with the court.
Meli10, curious how old is your mother-in-law? If she is only in her 50's or 60's she is probably disappointed that she can't do things that she see others her age out doing. That is so sad. Too bad she doesn't have friends her own age who could visit with her or take her out once in awhile. Your husband might want to think about assistant living for his Mom... just think of all the new friends she could make :)
Freqflyer , hi she's in her mid 60s .. Its sad but she doesn't wanna go to a assistant living place.. One of the hard parts is dealing with negative attitude .. Today was a diyalsis day.. I asked how it went..She weak and she feels worst then she went in..which I understand.. Lately it's just been getting worst..I don't know if she acting out for MORE ATTENTION.. She keeps comparing her self to the other diylsis patients .. .. So 2night I had to get out of the house so I went with my mom on her errands .. I call my MIL to ask her a ? For Xmas she answers the phone so rude asking what I wanted. Because she was exhausted from doing the dishes.( only 3 cups and a small plate). Which I told her I would do when I got home forgot to do them this morning. And it's my own home if I wanted to do them 3 am my choice.. She has in the past throw tantrums when she cAnt go with my mom and I.. So idk if it was one of those days.. Sorry all just had to get it off my chest...

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