Need some direction....
New here, first time poster.... totally at a loss for what to do. Any direction would be greatly appreciated- thank you!
Mom 65, Dad 68, both still live independent in a mobile home but are very rural. Mom uses walker/cane, needs some help with dressing, can't drive - relies heavily on Dad. Both are on disability/retired, both are in poor health, and have very limited income.
They are isolated, no friends (their doing). Closest family (not a close relationship) is 1 hr away and they are in about the same condition physically as my parents. It is just my brother and I, we never lived close (over 3 hrs away) and now both live out of state.
About 10 years ago, Dad started to become super stubborn and angry (other health issues came up), moods are VERY labile, often difficult to determine what will set him off and can be verbally abusive. He refuses any type of counseling or medications to help with this.
Mom is absolutely miserable, wants to be near the grandkid and is very lonely; very depressed and on medication. Took some convincing and selling the idea, but my brother and I got them excited about moving closer to us, especially after seeing how much they relied on needing us... my brother needed to stay with them for 3 weeks when my Dad had surgery since Mom couldn't be alone. Now Dad is freaking out again, saying he is refusing to move. (BTW - they have lived there a little over 6 years so it is not a 'family' home.)
I realize that they have decisional capacity and they can do what they choose to do, just don't know how to handle the situations of poor planning / resources on their part and then my brother and I having to swoop in and save the day when something happens. Thankfully my brother works from home most of the time so he has more freedom to travel but neither of us can afford all the running back and forth. Both of us are tired of Mom crying about everything and being all 'Poor Me' and then Dad blowing up at the slightest things.
There is so much more to the story - but I am just at a loss as to what direction to take this.
Anyway - thanks in advance.