I need more respite care but mom holds the financial keys and is resistant.
Not to be redundant but I'm the primary caregiver for my mom with adv PD. I moved in to help her when it was only moderate PD. Now she requires much more care and supervision. I coudlnt' find a job when I moved here (one that would support me) so mom took over my med/dental and room and board. Sounds nice but the b side of that is that I have no life and am under her thumb. Being under the thumb of PD patient who is losing cognitive abilities but still in charge of the $$$. I haven't seen my bf since Christmas. We have been maintiang a LDR for almost 5 yrs. Was supposed to get together with him in June but he landed in hospital in May and then the homecare person (another issue) landed in the hospital right after that. Now that i'm trying to make plans mom has decided that since the homecare person we have 2X a wk for 4 hrs has a sleep disorder and needs a CPAC mask and can't do evenings or overnights -- that I'm just going to have to deal with the fact. I say the fact is that we need others for homecare than one person who needs to be in bed by 7 p.m. Mom informed me that this is not important to her and that the homecare if for her not me and so what if I can't do things in the evening or have a weekend to myself. She feels that she can't do a lot of the things that she would like to do either so I should stop being a pouty baby. I AM AT MY WITS END. I do not think I'm asking for a lot esp. since mom has LTC ins that pays 80%. One of my friends told me to just tell her what weekend I'm leaving and leave her the home care agency phone number and have her deal with and walk out the door. I can't just abandon her leaving her siting in her piss and crap just because she's demented AND stubborn. Besides I think the authorities would be called on me. I told my mom I dont' see why this has to be such bway production esp. since I'm here 99.9% of the time. I'm glad mom likes her caregiver that's here for 8 hrs a week but we need more? I've tried to be super sweet about it and I've gone off like a roman candle about it but I still reach the same destination -- NOWHERSVILLE. HELP!