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Mom is in another state, where I used to visit until my loser brother, who's lived in her house off and on for years, had me arrested last time with some lie about something I did to his car. My mom picked me up from jail, and took me back to her house where I was staying. He had me arrested AGAIN 10 days later, and they said "you know you are not allowed to be here." I had no idea why, but apparently he's a "victim" because of the lie he told police I did to him! When I was released that time, they forbid all contact with my MOM and property! I had nowhere to stay because I don't live there. My mom has dementia, but the police think I'm the problem! I was stuck there for almost 2 months before I went to court, and in Oregon only your lawyer can get a copy of the police report, but i couldn't get a public defender until the court date! When I finally read the police report, it said my brother "called 911 to report his sister was schizophrenic, having an episode, and came over and destroyed HIS garage!!" Somehow, hes convinced police that he's taking care of my mom, even though he's a drug using con artist at 69! The public defender was useless, and I never even got to plead not guilty! That was a year ago, and was never resolved. They kept postponing, until I finally left the state as a fugitive!! I had to go home!! No one seemed to care! I have depression that has been severe for the last couple years, especially with that, and had to be hospitalized as soon as I got home, and I don't think I will ever be allowed to see my mom before she dies.. It only adds to my depression. Thanks for letting me post.

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Thank you all for your heartfelt responses, and for taking the time. I have felt very alone through this situation, and I appreciate the hugs and support. It means a lot.
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I think the key to seeing your mom would be to hand negotiations over to a third party, a lawyer or a social worker, perhaps with some kind of supervised visitation. I think a lawyer would be the best as you need to resolve all the legal issues before you can even return to the state. In the mean time continue with your own therapy to work through your depression and come to terms with the possibility that you may not succeed. Sorry.
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Dear Pattie,

I'm very sorry to hear about your struggles to see your mom. I wonder if you should contact Adult Protective Services and see if a social worker can help you figure out a way to see your mom and deal with your brother. I know sometimes everything feels hopeless. But if you truly want to see your mom, I hope the social worker will help you find a way. Take care of yourself.
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I don't know how to respond but I am sending hugs your way.
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