Narcissistic mother.

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It took me 37 years to finally figure out my mothers abuse and why she is the way she is. Me and my sister have dealt with her abusive ways all our lives and always thought she was just bipolar or something. After checking off 37 of the 40 narrsacistic characteristics I've realized that what she has. She tortured my father when we were younger leading to him always staying at his office and never wanting to come home. She cheated on him leading to a divorce and thank god my dad got custody of us. At the time of 10 I was very upset and wanted to live with my mom but now as an adult I realize it was best my dad got us. Unfortunately I'm having to live with her for a bit to save up and get my own place after a break up. I wait on my mom hand and foot do her laundry take her to Dr appointments do all the shopping and cleaning but its never enough. If my mom wants something I buy it for her. I realize now I've always tried to please her all my life. Even as a child I would spend all my bday and Xmas money on buying her gifts that later I would find out shed give away. I've spent my whole life trying to please her. My older sister always got more of her abuse and has nothing to do with her and I totally understand. So that leaves me. She has ms but you would never know it. Shes 65 and it just fine. But she uses that as a feel sorry for me weapon. I know now it doesn't matter how hard I try to please her it will never be enough to a narrsacistic. When I do save up enough to get out of here I will definitely keep my distance so I can try and heal myself from her mental torment and abuse.


How are you going to save up if you are buying mom things? Isn't there a friend, or maybe your sister you could stay with instead. You are heading into a very well planned trap, laid by a narcissist. Time to get out. I would never, ever be able to stay with one of my twisted sisters. One a MASTER narcissist,the other allows herself to be sucked in very easily.
Yeah I'm the one who's always allowed my mother to suck me in with her narrsacistic ways. My sister has always kept her distance cause she's my moms scapegoat and has always gotten a lot of the abuse. My mother even blamed her for divorce when my mother is one who cheated. She blames everybody for her faults and if we try to bring up stuff shes done to us in past she claims it never happened. I even saved a voicemail of her on one of her alcohol fuled raints cutting me down and calling me names and she says it wasn't her on VM. Trust me I'm outta here in 2 months for my own sanity! Lol I just pray I can make it that long.
Two months is a long time to hang on to your sanity when it is under attack. Can you also stop spending you money on the Queen Bee?

It it awesome that you are planning to leave, but I agree with Glad that it would MUCH better to find somewhere else to crash for a couple of months. Would your sister let you sleep on her couch?

What would you have done if your mother had not been alive when you had your break-up? What if you couldn't have moved home to Mommy? How would you haven't gotten back on your feet again in that case?

Mom has you right where she likes you -- dependent on her. Yikes! Escape as soon as you possibly can -- much sooner than 2 months if at all possible.
There is a website that may help you. Check out daughters of narcissistic mothers. Many on this site have been there.
Yeah, I've done some reading on there. I've done a lot of reading and trying to understand this illness. Realising their not capable of love is a hard pill to swallow. Not that I don't see and feel that shes never been able to love not just me and my sister but anybody that's stuck around before running for the hills.

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