I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
She's dipping into some of her CDs, part of her IRA, and part of her checking accounts to pay for it. She sold some land she's had forever to a long distant relative for $90,000. She has signed the various paperwork with the realtor agency that's selling the house. Her realtor has brought some paperwork to our house and others have been emailed to her for her to e-sign.
She hasn't been to a doctor in over 5 years and the only pills she takes are eye vitamins, a Centrum vitamin, a Vitamin D tablet, and every few days, a magnesium tablet. Before Covid, I did lift her into my car whenever she needed to go somewhere.
Barring anything crazy happening at the last minute, I technically will have my first job with the completion of the house purchase. Mom decided that it will be in my name and it will be a way for me to get revenue via someone staying there and paying rent. Because of that, I can put "landlord" on my resume. Even though the caregiving nightmare is still ongoing, at least I can say I'm employed. At least, to a degree.
I don't remember details about your mom, but offhand it sounds to me like you should consider resigning your POA and have nothing to do with this woman's finances, imho. It is too difficult to tell if she is competent or not competent, and if a court hasn't said she is incompetent and fully put your POA into effect, you sure should be buying/selling or doing anything of importance with it. This sort of uncertainty can end in the courts with all sorts of accusations including fraud and elder abuse.
No bank is going to put up with this sort of thing. Once POA is withdrawn, short of conservatorship, I doubt anyone will ever have any control or ability to help with accounts. Banks dont play games with these things. They are legally liable to their client's protection. Her withdrawal of POA will serve a a massive warning bell.
Just let her handle her own affairs and stay out of it would be my advice.
Your whole life is a cringe moment.
You SHOULD tell your mother you can not help her any longer , and that she’s a paranoid mental case and needs therapy .
How is she managing to buy the house next door when she can not get out of the house to go to settlement ?
How does she get to the doctor for refills for meds? Do you lift her into the car ?
If she is managing the business of this house purchase on her own , she can manage to contact agencies and hire her own caregivers and you should leave and get a job .
She may be past the point of PT doing any good , btw.
Get a job . Leave and call APS . Stop enabling her . And get yourself a therapist too .
My mom wants to contact one of the banks and have them remove the copy of the POA they made when I stopped by to get a cashier's check lined up for her earlier today. It's one of two that will be used to purchase the house next door to us in a few days. Luckily, my CD wasn't touched amidst all of this and had it been, that would've been the last straw and she would've done a whole lot more than pay me back the massive chunk that would've had to have been taken out.
She's afraid something nefarious might happen and it might get changed and doesn't trust anybody, citing a past experience with a former colleague of hers that took a couple of things from my grandmother's house while she was allowed to live there rent-free for a time. She compares it to giving someone a blank check and it could be used to take her to the cleaners. She wanted to get the POA set up so she could "avoid getting sick and run out of energy" while at the banks I had to go to in her place. Apparently, she thinks masks and gloves won't save her while she wants others to wear them and supported such policies when Covid was really running rampant.
I just told her that banks needs copies of POA paperwork in order for POAs to handle their loved ones bank-related matters without any issues and make the process easier. The current POA is only in regard to her bank accounts. She's gonna call the bank Monday and have the POA taken out of the system. She wants to "be cautious" and after I noted that scenarios might pop up where I would have to handle her bank matters in the future, she told me I won't have to go to the bank in question to handle her matters any time soon. Let's hope that's the case.
It was all I could do not to openly tell her "I hate your paranoia." When she goes, it'll be one of the things I won't miss about her. I almost wanted to ask her "so does this mean you'll do PT sometime soon?"
Your story is a nightmare.
I can only say yes to those antibiotics. I had to take them before my surgery to remove wisdom tooth with very ingrown (read old) roots.
I will say those infection going INTO THE BONE is unusual. And yours wasn't caught. And wow, life changing for certain. I can only say you must have had marvelous surgeons dealing with the ruination of jaw bone to have you coming out whole enough that this can only be recognized now by xray. So you had both the worst of care and the best, all in one fell swoop. I honestly cannot even imagine what you went through.
Now dealing with my second bout of breast cancer after a reprieve of 35 years from the first one I understand just how PTSD I actually AM. I mean the anxiety about doing this again had me literally rocking with anxiety on one appointment, and that was after one half of a 5 mg valium which usually has me feel nothing but bliss. I don't take stuff, so when I do it hits like a ton of bricks ordinarily.
I can't imagine what you went through.
Your warnings are soooooooo well taken.
I have an underlying Atrial Fib. And yup, anyone with any heart anything, and any major dental, get prophylactic antibiotics would be my recommend for certain.
What an ordeal! I’m so sorry.
I doubt many recall but in 2019 I had a botched root canal that left me with osteomyelitis and caused me to lose my left jaw which now has a plate and screws. Sounds terrible which it was but one wouldn't know unless looking at Xrays. Subsequent implants failed due to lack of sufficient bone even after having surgery to insert bone morphing material. I now have a partial dental removable device. I had not been given antibiotics by that endodontist until infection had clearly set in.
I seriously advise everyone to deal with tooth pain quickly. I had my teeth cleaned 2 weeks ago with Xrays taken and there was no indication of any problem then. This came on very quickly. Also as many of us are older on this site I strongly suggest insisting on getting antibiotics on the day of a procedure.
I was told by the surgeon who did the jaw removal and follow up procedures that this was just very bad luck but I greatly blame the endodontist who at the time spent 10 days trying to save the tooth despite a swollen face. As he did this a slow moving infection set in which then caused the removal of several teeth.
Anyway my clear whine but I also want to help others who might ever experience possible complications from a root canal. Take it all very seriously. It was life changing. I was on a Picc line for 6 weeks as there were infection levels in my body. My blood was drawn weekly in order to determine reduced levels of infection. I will never knowingly smile with an open mouth again.
Glad your friend were able to get their meds.
So he tells them now right off , when he gets his script that he is diabetic.
I think most drug stores are holding so many for the people that need them
Mounjaro is much better than Ozempic. I take it for both my diabetes and weight loss.
I guess she’s going to have to if she can’t get a flight back home.
I hope your daughter is prepared to stay another day or 2 if needed.
Wild horses couldn’t have kept my daughter from going on this trip!
As y’all know, my fearless daughter traveled across the country to live in Colorado after graduating from LSU. (Without a job!)
She has ambitions and found a great job in which she is working remotely at now. Her company told her that they didn’t want to lose her so they didn’t mind her working remotely from Louisiana.
She was in a relationship that was going nowhere with her last college boyfriend and the guy before him.
She's not going to settle for someone who doesn’t value her.
She decided to take a breather and came back to New Orleans for a while.
She still visits her friends who live in Denver. When attending her friend’s birthday party she met this guy and they have this ‘long distance’ relationship happening.
She flies there. He flies here. She has introduced him to all of New Orleans culture, music, food and so on. He grew up on the east coast and moved to Denver with his mom at age 12 after his parents divorced.
He flew our daughter out for her birthday. They drove to Vail to stay at a resort. She relaxed in the spa while he was skiing.
He’s an avid skier and she wants to learn how to ski but is also interested in snowboarding.
They make a cute couple. We met him and like him. She met his mom and brother and likes them.
Eventually, she wants to go back to Denver. I still can’t wrap my head around our southern daughter loving the cold climate and snow! I get it though, Colorado is a beautiful state.
Our oldest daughter has type one diabetes. So many people are using this drug for weight management and it’s causing a problem for those who have diabetes.
Obesity is a problem too and some people want to turn to using Ozempic, Wegovy and Mounjaro.
The weight loss industry is huge. There are a bazillion different weight loss programs out there.
Now, coming back home she is hoping that her flight tomorrow will be okay. Denver is expecting about 17 inches of snow!
She sounds like a sassy little girl! 😆 The Jack Russell terrier is very smart!
We had a mini schnauzer that was quite spunky! The little dogs are fearless, aren’t they?
My schnauzer was a momma’s girl. She wasn’t crazy about my husband. He tolerated her because I loved her. He loved our greyhound. The schnauzer was a little too hyper for his taste in dogs.
I really feel like people should do their research on what breed of dog is best suited for them. It’s sad when people get dogs and then bring them to the shelter because the dog wasn’t a good fit for them.
I don’t think animals should be given as gifts. Not everyone wants the responsibility of caring for a dog, not to mention the cost of raising a pet. Vet bills can add up, dog food and treats, toys, grooming and so on is costly.
I had a male greyhound. He was very lean and tall. He weighed 85 pounds of pure muscle.
Sight hounds can’t ever be off leash. I know a guy who got in his truck to go after his grey that escaped. He was driving 45 miles an hour to catch up to his dog. Fortunately, he did capture his dog.
Isn’t it incredible that your brother’s dog was able to catch a flying pheasant? They are fast!
Anxiety,
My cat would catch birds and lizards. She would play with them before killing them. She loved to show off her kill to us. They are natural hunters.
Bro did take his champion out to a private track so he could have fun chasing lures but the other dog came to us as an adult and could never be trusted to come back if let off leash, her prey drive was very strong and woe to any cat that was caught away from a safety zone, once she plucked a pheasant out of the air.
I owned a sight hound. They are super focused and extremely fast. Watching my grey run at the park was amazing! He could out run all the other dogs there.
Ironically, they are couch potatoes at home! Very mellow personalities.
Greyhounds are the fastest sight hound. Ours was a champion when he raced. He was very happy as a retired racing dog.