My "whine moment today". What's yours?

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Constantnurse don't apologize that's what this thread is about..

Don't worry I'll soon be "one upping" your whine, I learned from the Master!
My whine for today: as Roseanne Rosannadanna would say, "it's always something..." (ah Gilda, we miss ya). Just as MIL seems to be doing a little better - reasonably grounded, lucid, hallucinations at a minimum - our car decides to crap out on us. Hubs knows a back yard mechanic who does decent work and doesn't rake us over the coals but he's slow as molasses....*sigh*
Cap - sorry you missed out on your remodeling opportunity :(... Maybe you could try a rain dance? I'm sure you could come up with some rockin' good music to back you up!
Constant - I hope I don't offend but that seemed like a terribly insensitive thing for your pastor to say to you. If it were me I'd be looking for another church. Hang in there....and don't apologize! You have every right to feel stressed and worn out. Besides, whining is what this thread was created for!
My MIL gets furious when I take an hour to visit my own mom.
My mom lives alone and is 89. She no longer drives and depends on me for groceries etc. I am her only contact with the outside world. (She is very hard of hearing and her friends and neighbors all died off).
Also, my dad passed away and so did my brother (age 59). So it s just me.
I love my mom and wish I could spend more quality time with her.
Clock is ticking.
I do the best I can but I resent MIL's attitude any time I am a daughter to my own mom. BTW, my mom is great about it..............but well, that's my whine.
Argh, definitely feeling the "whine time" lately!

-Tried to find incontinence undergarments to fit mom's rather large size. One company was gracious and sent us samples of 4 different types - all failed to fit. They are more than wide enough, but not "tall" enough - they all stop just short of the top of her butt crack (sorry, not sure what else to call it!) - not a good fit at all. So we are back to the pads, and I've gotten her to agree to change the pads *every time* she uses the bathroom, I don't care if it's 5 times a day. I'll gladly foot the added expense if it means I don't have to wash bedsheets, the blue chair/bed pads, her clothing, her socks and shoes when she soaks them several times a day.

-Today, because she's extra tired for some reason, she won't shower. I completely understand that she's tired - I get it - but the smell in the house is driving me nuts. I have 2 candles and an air freshener going in here and it's *barely* keeping the smell down...and when she moves or gets up...ACK! She showers every other day, which is really not enough, but it's all I can get her to do. I know that in some NHs, they only get bathed once a week....so I guess I'll take what I can get and be thankful for it. Before I moved in, there was a deep layer of dust in the tub - she hadn't showered in months - so even if the smell is horrible some days, I guess I have to be happy she showers at all.

-Mom has required extra attention this past week due to the incontinence issue and her lack of understanding about the pad-changing frequency needed to keep up with it. (She understands now, thank goodness.) This means my work has suffered and I've gotten behind a bit - and one of my clients is *not* happy. I'm kissing butt and eating crow today in the hopes that I can maintain my relationship with them and not lose them as a client. (sigh)

Back to work now....and off to Amazon to order more pads.....
My mother poops (in protective garments) but doesn't always know it.
She doesn't always see it when she goes to the toilet as it's worked it's way up her backside leaving no evidence in front.
I find it everywhere; on the bed,on the floor, on the toilet seat and her hands.
She denies it's hers.She blames me.
I'm not sure how,when or why I did it today but somehow (according to her) I did the dirty deed on the floor near her toilet and left a tail of toilet paper coming out of her behind ( No, I don't assist with toileting as she still fights me on that one).
I am sick of poop.I can't get the smell out of my nose and I think I'm getting a fetish for latex gloves(joke).
I never wanted to see my mother's nether regions and now they are more familiar than my own.
I laugh at inappropriate times. I think the methane from her continuous gassing of the room is affecting my mind.
I have a fear that the smell of poop and lysol sticks to my clothes and others will think it's my signature fragrance.
Today I cleaned poop in the yard from my dogs.
A friend called to ask advice on treating her diarrhea.
My daughter called to ask me if I thought her cats bowel movements seemed normal.
Obviously,I am now considered an expert in BM.
This really "bums" me out.
Going to bed.
Olmaandme, Kudo's to you for being able to make this sound funny. I know it isn't and it scares the bejeepers out of me that I may end up dealing with the same issues. I just don't think I can do that part.....

I get freaked out reading some of the awful things caregivers are going through...I see my dear mother declining daily.... mornings and evenings are so confusing and scary to her and the future is scary to me. Sigh.
Jeanette, we have to laugh at it sometimes, or we'd cry! It's the best way to handle it some days.
It's been close to 8 months since Mom's surgery. We've had multiple caregivers, each one I had to train and show around and what pills when. Mom baked a ham and a sweet potatoe, the bottom of the oven had stuff all over it, it was midnight when I discovered this. 6 hrs later I finally get to go to bed 6 a.m. Tuesday the 8th caregiver decides not to show up and has said I could call Hazel and see if she's interested. So no break, no help. I know I'm wallowing in self pity, and it's not going to help anything. I just need to vent. I wish Mom's recovery time will end soon and she'll be her old self again. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this? I wish Mom would go to the senior center of adult day care so she could have a social life without me being there. I wish.
My dad can never get enough to eat. He recently took my bank card & spent everything but $30. I didn't find out 'til I was out of town for the week-end. I have food. But, my son is 13, will have to go without milk until the 5'th of May. I can't have any "fresh food". I know I'm whining, but, I love a big salad every night. I sure do miss it! ( Maybe I'll lose weight.... sigh).... blou
JeanetteB, it can be really scary to see all the issues caregivers have to deal with! Just remember that while every single behavior caregivers report is true, no one has ALL the behaviors and symptoms. Who know what your mother will develop?

And the other thing to keep in mind is that caregivers change and grow. You may find yourself easily handling something you never thought you could do!

My advice: Don't borrow trouble from tomorrow. You probably have enough for today.

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