After 8 years of caring for my parents have turned against me.

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I am one of 4 girls and have been the main hlep for my father who is my mother's carer. We moved into a house together 7 years ago and my siblings have not helped. One was estranged from them for around 5 years. One day my father thought I said no to him to looking after my mother while he went to the football (I look after her Sat arvo while he plays bowls) He screamed at me then 10 days later he threatened to kill me. My siblings are gathering around them and taking me to court to get the house off me which we bought together and I have been paying all outgoings inc mortgage, gas, water and even foxtel for them. They have all turned on me and have broken up the family even more by not allowing my mother's family to visit her. They have threatened restraining orders on them. They even lodged violent retraining orders on my children from their grandfather. They are accusing me of fraud and theft although none of them have been around for years or cared.

9 Comments

I hope you have a good attorney.
Get all your paper work in order for documentation of the financial aspects of the last 8 years and find a good lawyer.
You are in a very hard place right now so try and keep your cool and do as suggested
Have proof ready to show you have been paying the bills. Checks receipts etc anything you can lay your hands on.
Aside from that it is not unusual for an elder to turn against their offspring care give especially if the elder has some form of dementia undiagnosed or not.
Has your mother's condition begun to deteriorate? Part of it could be his fear and anger at the prospect of loosing her. You are the one there, you are supposed to fix everything so you bear the brunt of his assults.
Does anyone have POA for Mom aside from dad?
This sounds like another case of follow the money. Why else would they want the house?
Do not under any circumstances move out. if your father becomes physically violent towards you do not hesitate to call the police.
Others have been through this and it is not pleasant. but if you have good friend to support you and go with you to see lawyers etc it will greatly help your self confidence. Blessings
Unless your family is filled with psychotics, there is more to this story. Why are you paying all the bills when there are two Social Security checks coming in?
jolmur, please fill in the website profile so we have more of an understanding as to what is going on. Thank you.
Before I found this site 2 or 3 years ago, I was paying for everything...ALL the utility bills, the grocery, the household supplies, even my mom's supplies and her medical bills. My dad's $1100/month retirement income went to him and he just paid the house insurance and his herbal pills. 7 years ago, I had to have a major surgery, I didn't have a nest egg to cushion the cost, I told dad that I can't pay for the power bill. The next year, I had to fly to Hawaii for another surgery. My medical and the hotel cost was very costly. Only when I found this site did I found out how much my father took advantage of me..or what some of you would say how much he controlled my life. There are still naive people despite the times we live in.

I totally agree that as long as you stay in the home, you have a better chance. If both of your names are on the house, then you both own it. Worse case scenario, you will have to sell the house and spilt the proceeds. Your parents can find a housing like ALF. Or maybe move in with one of your sibling?
Thankyou I have got a lawyer and it seems as it will go to trial as mediation did not work. My siblings are nasty women and take after my father. I thought helping him was the right thing to do and I would do it again but the sisters are on the war path and he is following them. I have moved out as I could not stand to be there any longer.
good luck. Please tell us what happens!
We were given 30 days to get our stuff out of the house by the court as I have agreed that he can rent the house and pay the mortgage ect. We went there the other day and they had packed up mine and my daughters belongings in bags and put them in a pile on the back patio and have pulled up all the carpets in the rooms. We still have 2 weeks left on the agreement. My eldest sister turned up after my youngest sister and her husband threatened my son over the phone when we rang my fathers number to get a key. My eldest sister told me she has hated me since I was born as I was a mummys girl.

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