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djl, Did you check to see if a will was filed in the state where your dad lived? Maybe you weren't in the will, maybe there wasn't a will or maybe she destroyed it (since she had access to his belongings?) Have you check unclaimed money by state? I'm sorry, my husband went through the same thing.
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Some states have laws in place that make it illegal to be a medical power of attorney (if out of the state). Makes sense since its hard to take care of someone long distance. Your sister's daughter sounds like she must be a horrible nurse...self-absorbed and uncaring. I wish you the best.
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Gold digger. An earlier name for her type from the 70's would have been the title of the song "She's A Man Eater"
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Well, I'm sure his drinking and abuse was not directed at her. She came along because he had alienated his own family, and his wife at the time had recently died of Alzheimer's about 10 years ago. So she just got in good with him so she could take it from him in the end.
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djlprojects, I probably should not ask this, but what was so awesomely special about the "adopted granddaughter"? Sounds like she endured his abuse and drinking so she could get her hands on his money.
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Thanks, Madge1. We shall seek out an attorney in this matter.
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Also, djlprojects, if he put her as a joint owner on his banking accounts good chance it is all her's now. Unfortunately, alot of parents will put a child as joint owner of a checking or savings account not realizing this basically gives all of that money to the child. They do not have to "share" because legally it is their's. Bet she did this also. I am betting she knew years ago how to work this situation.
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I am betting he had a will and left everything to her. You can contest this will, but you will need an attorney. If he didn't have a will the courts will decide who gets what and usually everything goes to the heirs. If she was POA, that ended with his death. She had no rights to his money at that point unless he willed it all to her. Like I said see an attorney to see what rights you have at this point. You should at least be able to see the will. Good Luck
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My Dad died recently at age 88, and he had given his power of attorney to an outsider who was not a family member, who he called his "adopted granddaughter", whom he had known for about the last 10 years. (He was estranged from us in his own family due to his alcoholism and abusive behavior.) I, his oldest son out of four children, had kept in touch with him over the years and visited him often. I tried to get Dad to change his POA to me through the VA (he was a WW2 veteran) but he wouldn't do it because he was afraid of offending the chosen party.
True to form, this person, after his death, cut off all contact with us, his real family, and kept all of his property and money.
We were not even told if he left a will! When we attended his military funeral at a VA military cemetery, and she was there, she was even awarded the flag at the end of the flag ceremony!
We, his own family, and me, his oldest son, felt like we were second-class citizens there, and offered to take her and her family out to dinner, and she declined the offer and left. Then when we went to the visitor's center at the cemetery to see where he would be buried, the woman sent her teenaged son to us with a worthless box of some of his clothing, and the flag, and told us she wanted us to have it. We got nothing else, and she kept all of his valuables, documents, records, and money from his bank account.
Is there anything we can do legally to recover any of it? We especially need his documents and records for our family genealogy records.
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As Crowe said above, posters really need to read your profile for the complete picture...
My cousins did the same thing to my mother. She was the youngest of several children. When her brothers or sisters became ill, she was the one who helped them. My cousins had the same attitude as your niece, "let her do it"...and I truly believe that they would just let their parents die!
I would suggest having a frank talk with your BIL. Tell him that, if he wants you to continue helping out, that he needs to transfer the PoA to you (not only to keep the greedy daughter out of his finances, but for practical reasons, because you are the primary caregiver.) If he refuses, arrange in-home care for him and have the bill sent to him.
You have had more than your share of caregiving duties lately. You need to get away from it for awhile and rejuvenate.
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Also, just another thought. If he is giving his daughter money, that is his right. I wouldn't want someone telling me I couldn't give my daughters money. Are you paying for things for him, things that he needs. Is he going without? There are alot of questions here. You have a good heart and I admire you for being a nurse, my twins are nurses and I know what they go through and see. I wish you the best.
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Hi Lisalynn52, you niece is manipulative. She is putting the guilt trip on you. This is her responsiblity. If you feel your BIL is not being cared for it is time to have a frank talk with him. Don't be the doormat for the niece and he has to see what is going on poor guy. Most parents would jump through hoops for their child and she knows this. As for guardianship, I see this on many posts, but it is not that easy. He would have to be ruled incompetent, is he? The niece of course will contest the guardianship, and here goes the expense. This comes out of your pocket until his estate reinburses you. That is if he is ruled incompetent.

If you are living in his house, move. The niece has you just where she wants you, taking her responsibility on your shoulders and her giving nothing in return. Talk to you BIL, see what he wants.
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I am glad that I took the time to read your profile. When you say leave, what exactly do you mean? Why isn't his daughter taking care of him? Does she have medical POA as well? Is he of sound mind enough to revoke her POA and give it to you? If not, you might have to for guardianship to protect him.
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