My Mom, whom I have been her caregiver for over 7 years. She has hospice care and has become unresponsive and hardly drinks or eats.

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I tell her that her family is waiting for her in Heaven. I pray to God, he takes her soon. I am up and down, mood wise. My dog gets me to the dog park. I don’t really want to go out, but I force myself. I know it is going to be tough when she dies. But, it is more tough watching her waste away.


This is such a hard time for a family. I am glad you realize that it's all right to feel relief that she is no longer suffering after her death. That doesn't diminish your grief and love in any way. I expect that hospice has told you that she may wait to die when you are out of the house or room.
Tanya, so sorry to read about your Mom. Has Hospice given you any indication how soon your Mom will pass? What I did with my Dad, even though he was unresponsive, was tell him that I will be ok, that he had taught me well, etc. And the wee hours of the next morning he had passed. I think he wanted to make sure I would be alright without him.

Don't feel you need to be with your Mom every minute. Usually on one's final journey they either like to be surround by family, or they want to pass on their own without the family getting upset at that moment. I was with my Mom when she passed, but my Dad waited until I left his room.

Yes, it is tough watching a love one waste away, their quality of life has been limited for some time now. I didn't want my Dad to leave me, but I knew he wanted desperately to be with my Mom who had passed less than a year before.
I'm so sorry for you. I just lost Dad 22 days ago. One of the older aides at his facility told me that dying is a process, like giving birth, and once a person is on that journey, their body and mind are focused on that process. I don't know if that's true, but it did seem to me that Dad worked at it. He too was unresponsive a couple of days prior, but he moved his arms and hands as if moving and placing objects. When he was done, he slept, and then he passed. I miss him and think about him every day.

I'm sorry. I know it's hard. My mother died 3 years ago and I miss her still. She was ready to go, more ready for her death than I was. When she died I felt torn between missing her and being glad her suffering was over.

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