my mom lives with my sister in Tenn. she wants to come live with me and my sister says she has moms "initiative" so she cant gowhat is that

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If your mom is competant she can go wherever she wants. Can you clarify what the situation is with your mom, and why your sister would be resistant to the idea of her moving. There are so many variables, we all would like to understand before offering you our suggestions, perspectives on the situation.
mom has just started showing signs of dementia. my dad is there also and he is fine. my sister is using them to help with her bills and living expenses. my mom and dad both told her they were coming here to live with me and she was furious. she told them today that they couldnt go anywhere. she said she has total control over her and she called it initiative.
There is nothing called "initiative" that I am aware of legally. The odds are good that she does not have guardianship or conservatorship over them - you and all family including your parents would have been notified by the courts that she had filed a petition. Courts do not grant power over others quickly or easily. No one has total control of another - your sister is being emotional.

If she is claiming to have a power of attorney, that can be changed by them at will. Your parents should make one out for healthcare - asap- to state their wishes if either should be unable to speak for themselves, and to appoint someone to speak for them. As far as general power of attorney for other matters, that too can be changed at will by your parents. If your father is fully competant and your mom has an inkling of dementia, then you should advise them to smile sweetly and run, not walk to a senior center to have them help with paperwork and witnesses. Many of these forms can be downloaded & printed from the internet. Once signed & witnessed - ideally by local social services people, they can make plans to move with your help and the support of social services at the center.

Good for you supporting your parents. If the relationship is still ok with your other sister & they have the funds, perhaps they can gently remind her they will help her out in an emergency, in case she has been imprudent - her acting out may be a signal that her own finances will spiral out of control if they are not helping with bills. It happens, but if you can help your parents extract themselves with grace and leave the family intact that would be worth keeping in mind.

Good luck -
thanks this was a huge help!

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