My mom hates me.

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She hates me and blames me for her divorce. I was only 12 said I should have never opened the house door to my dad. She was having an affair. Never did anything to her, she doesn't want anything to do with me, only my sister. I am 67 now. I called her to wish her a mothers day, all she does is scream tell me never call. She will face this when she dies . Even called one time she was in the hospital told me never to call her. What kind of mother is she? Awful.


She has blamed you for her divorce since you were 12? 55 years? How have you been coping with this rejection all that time? Has something happened recently to stir up new conflict?

What kind of mother is this? Well, I think your description is pretty accurate -- "awful."

Do you have a specific question for us?
Hi Tiger
I am sorry for your moms reaction to you when you contact her. It sounds like she has a mental disorder that is perhaps life long?
Does she live alone? Is she in good health? Does your sibling keep you informed? I'm sure you love your mom and it is a heavy load to carry with her being so hostile. She is a very old woman by now and a long time since you were 12. Maybe it's time to get therapy to help let go of your desire to connect with her. It doesn't sound as if she has dealt with her feelings at all. I wonder if you were to see her in person if she would be so harsh? Many people are more harsh over the phone but in person more reasonable. My grandmother had a sister that held a lifelong grudge. It was also over a man. My grandfather. My GM was born in 1900. Her sister was born in 1914. My grandmother died in 1990. The sister is still living and still a grudge holder. Some people never change. Get help now with your feelings as they affect not only you but others in your life.
Yes, that is truly awful. I hope you can find some peace in your heart about this before your mom passes. She sounds like she has mental health problems that extend way beyond a personal dynamic between you two. It is so hard to get those feelings out though.

My dad is the kind of person who would do something bad then get mad at you for catching him. That is one of the (many) things I also really dislike about that man who is living in the white house. Your mom sounds narcissistic too. Was your dad a good dad?
Tigerlois, I'm so sorry you have had to go thru this with your mother. While my mother was not as hostile as yours, she did everything she could to make my life miserable. It was always about her, I am one of four sisters and the only one who would rush to help my mother and sisters. I have two sisters who have a mental illness and my mother refuses to acknowledge how sick they really are. The stress of taking care of one of my mentally ill sisters and my mother's manipulation I got really sick. I was diagnosed with Chronic Lyme disease which was probably dormant for many years. Because I was of no use to my mother and she built a huge wedge between me and my sister. Now I don't talk to either one. It was hard emotionally at first, but now it's a huge relief. I've been homebound for two years and not once has either one has even sent a card to me. I found out the my mother has a narcissistic borderline personality disorder. Once I read up on this disorder everything made so much sense. I would suggest you either join a forum or facebook groups which support people such as you and me. You're right you're mother will have to face how she treated you on her death bed, but please know that you have done nothing wrong. She is just uncapable of loving anyone.

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