My misery!

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I've posted on here before and I get criticized for complaining. If you people would walk in my shoes then I'm sure you would be more forgiving. As usual, my life with my 89 1/2 year old mother is a living h*ll. She complains constantly and argues. her old age and illnesses have made her this way. She's always had a meanness in her, but the old age has made it worse. She expects me to constantly be at her beckon call. I have no life not have ever had a "life".
My father died when I was 15 and my life story was written out then. I was ridiculed and harassed by my mother when I tried to date or get a girlfriend. She always thought that she came first and I was giving her up if I found a girlfriend. Does this sound bizarre to you? It's very bizarre! I'm 55 years old now and I'm miserable at the lifestyle that has been forced upon me. I'm a 24/7 caregiver. My mother will cuss (4 letter words), yell and argue. She can be a terror. I literally gave up my life, but this is what my mother expected of me. I was never able to experience the normal things most people do in life.

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Please, please, PLEASE, for your own mental and physical well-being, look into placing her into a skilled nursing facility!
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sosannagh, yes, this is sad, but unfortunately not unusual.

Shame on your sisters, yes. But to live so close and choose not to visit one's mother means there is definitely something wrong. Maybe Sis's childhood relationship to your parents was very different than you were aware. It is possible that this estrangement is as much your mother's fault as your sister's. Have you ever discussed the issue with Sis? Or maybe Sis has a mental health problem. Or maybe she really is just an a*hole.

Whatever the cause of this rift, you need to write off your sisters in relation to caregiving. Sad? OMG yes!

It sounds like you have some challenges with financial resources. If you want some input about that, start a new topic. Lots of people here can share experiences with that. Are you in the US? It is helpful to know that so we don't advise you to use US resources if that isn't applicable. So mention where you are if you start a new topic.
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sosannagh - the short answer is that you can't. People make their own decisions and you can't change them. There are many stories here about siblings who contribute nothing and some about those who are not involved unless it is to criticize. I am glad your bros are helping as they can. I will write my sis off once mother passes too. I don't need the negative input. You are not alone. It is sad.
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How do I motivate other family members to help me financially or take some of the responsibility. I am the youngest of 6, but it all falls on me. I must give my 2 brothers credit, they help me financially when they can. My sisters are a*holes. Seldom visit: one sister hasn't been here in 18 months and lives less than 2 miles away. shame on my sisters.
When something happens to mom, I no longer have sisters.
Sad that I feel this way, don't you agree?
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Its too bad you let your mom control your life! My father did the same thing and I know he regretted it. My father had a heart problem because his mom took him to visit a person with rheumatic fever. My grandmother forced him to lift her which was strenous because she was not light. This happened when she dropped a pill on the floor and she fell trying to get it. She chased away girls from my dad by making lies up about him. She hated my mother because she stayed with my dad. Anyway he lifted her and afterward he got sicker. He had a terrible stroke and lived in the nursing until he died. He was never allowed to do what he wanted because his mom would not let him. Get out of there and put her in a nursing home so you can live your life how you want!
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Roscoe, if your mother will not go voluntarily to see a psychiatrist, you can attempt to have her involuntarily committed to a psych ward in a hospital for an evaluation by a magistrate if you ever feel that she is a danger to her self or to someone else like yourself.

I agree with Babalou, there is something else going on here. It may be mental illness only made worse by dementia. She is not a healthy person to have taken your life completely over since you were 15, 40 years ago when your dad died. She has not been a good mother to you and you have been far too good of a son.
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Roscoe, hang in there. Some of us are damaged enough we really cannot go anywhere else. I am damaged enough and indolent enough I am not elsewhere. What I'm going through is nowhere near what a lot of people here are going through, including Roscoe. Roscoe, another poster said leave the room when she starts the crazy stuff. Sounds like a good idea. If she really goes bonkers, and keeps going on bonkers, could always involve the police: at least that way you will have a logged incident for your own defense. You deserve a life. If you want to go out with your date, just go and let mom rant, there is no law stating you have to stay there and listen. Good luck.
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Roscoe, your profile says your mom has mobility problems. Really? Has she been seen by a psychiatrist? There is something else going in, mental illness, dementia, something.

The question is, why are YOU there?
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I think she has already outlived him and outsmarted him. D*mn shame.
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I think your mother is going to outlive you, if you don't move out.
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