My husband and I have lost that spark...he is a grumpy, dirty old man. Who can help a 33 yr long marriage?

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I sympathize, but this is a forum about caring for people, not marriage counselling.
You say you’re caring for your husband who has Alzheimer’s and dementia. I would urge you to read up on what goes on in the minds of people who suffer with it. In my mom’s case, when she began suffering with this, her whole life took place in her mind, whether it really happened or not. If your husband has not seen his doctor lately, like within the past 6 months, he does need to go. There may be medications that can help him, including that Little Blue Pill, and his doctor may suggest couples counseling for you. It’s no fun to live like brother and sister no matter how long you’ve been married.
Dear mgmlarock,

Please talk to your doctor or nurse or family therapist. There is help in the community and through church as well. Lots of support for long term couples. Another great website is AARP that can offer some resources as well.

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