Well it's official - my family sued me for allegedly messing with their inheritence

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Its good you were able to benefit from the shared experiences and advice given on this thread, but msdiva posted back in 2010, I doubt she is with us on this site anymore.
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msdiva, I wanted to let you know that the situation of relatives and siblings trying to sue the one who did the caretaking of their parent is so very very common.
My mother had dementia, for several years before she passed away.
a Heart Attack, a stroke and then a another fatal stroke.
Shortly after she died I suffered a stroke.
I received no help or support from any of the rest of the family.
At a time when I was the most vulnerable I got threats from the rest of my family that they were going to sue me in probate court for supposedly mismanaging my parents money, because they claimed that was their "potential inheritance".
A suit we leave me homeless.
I prayed for God's help and protection and for a while the threats went away for a while.
Now they have come back.
The gratitude of taking care of their parent is astounding.
Or is it vengeance and greed?
I think I am going to have to go to court to get things settled.
The insult to having to defend myself from my own siblings is beyond measure.
I have come to believe that those siblings are not actually blood relatives.
I have come to believe they were adopted from wolves.
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Hello all and Msdiva. I'm new here and have been reading a lot of the posts on here. I have read your post on here of what your family had done to you and how you got vindication and the court ruled in your favor. You had stated that you took care of your father on your own with only help from your sons and a few outside your family.

First of all I want to give you kudos and props for providing the care your father needed for so long and not giving up on him... many these days do. When it gets to be to much most turn to the nursing homes or other facilities and then never look back. I don't have enough fingers or toes to count how many people I have cared for in those situations in my 25 years as a C.N.A.S. Many of them are lucky if they have family come visit during Thanksgiving or Christmas. Many of us that truly care about the people that are in our care, become like family to us. I have been "Adopted" by so many as a honorary "Granddaughter." There are many of us that believe that the men and women we care for as people and not just a meat sack of bones that has been discarded,or left for dead,no longer wanted or forgotten once they walk through our doors. They are mothers, fathers, and grandparents that for the most part have worked hard all their lives to raise and provide for their families.And are first and foremost human beings. They deserve to be treated with respect,dignity and honor. I could tell you horror stories about some of the treatment people have gotten in some of the nursing facilities I have worked for, the aides and yes even nurses and a couple of doctors. I reported them all. You don't abuse the people in your care, they are trusting you with their total care, and in some cases with their lives.I refused to work in places like that and would quit asap when I saw anyone mistreated.

I commend you on taking on the job as caretaker of your father, they don't get the credit and respect they deserve. It is very hard and at many times heart breaking, to see your loved go from the person they used to be to the frail,shell of a person they once were, no longer able to many of the simple things, or worse to slowly see their mind and all their life memories get robbed from them. You stated that you gave up 6 years of you life to care for him when no one would and that your family felt robbed of the money you got. Honey you more than deserved it!
You stated that the money they said you took from them was $51,000... well we are going to do a little bit of math here. First you divide that $51,000 by the 6 years you put your life and the lives of your children on hold. which comes to $8500.00 per year.Then divide that by 26 weeks because the average home health aide or nurses's aide in a nursing home or hospital gets paid every 2 weeks, that comes down to $326.92 every 2 weeks or $163.46 per week. then divide that by 168 hours since being a caretaker is a 24/7 job not a 8 hr job like most aides work... that now becomes $ 1.95 per hr if you go with the pay of every 2 weeks or .97 if you go with a weekly pay period. Since most aides can earn up to $ 9.00 to $ 10..0 per hour based on their level of experience. Which would have cost your family... @ $9.00 per hour...$1440 per month or $1600.00 per month@ $10.00 per hour. in nursing care alone.And don't forget that most home health providers and nursing facilities tack on fees of their own. By taking on the mainly thankless job of caretaker you saved your father and family thousands of dollars in care costs. You more than deserved what you got... but you and your family got hidden benefits that most non caretakers never get... You got the satisfaction knowing that you gave your father the best care you could... you saved your father's income that would otherwise have gone to cover his care which was needed to cover the other necessities of life for him and your family. and two things that I think was very important was you were able to make memories for yourself, your father and your children that can never be taken away... your boys learned the valuable lessons of respect, responsibility, that family takes care of family and the value of human life. They got to learn how frail life can become, through your and your father's struggles they learned sorrow,strength, perseverance, compassion and empathy. Skills that should help them to get far in life. By seeing and helping you care for your father they learned by your example how to care for others, and how it isn't easy sometimes... it puts them at a level most their age will take years to learn. I hope that it inspires them to want more from life and strive to achieve any goals they set for themselves... because you taught and showed them that life can be a struggle at times, but as they go out in life they will remember those 6 years and be able use the skills they have learned.
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I don't mean to hijack your thread msdiva, but some interesting issues have been brought up here.
I have been living with my Dad, since May 2013, because he asked me to live with him, so I did as he wished. Since living there, I haven't paid any "rent" (so to speak), but I do all of the "usual house" related things. I cook meals, clean, do the dishes/laundry and everything outside, i.e. mowing, house repairs, lawn care, etc.. In addition to those things, I also buy all of the groceries and household items that are needed. I also take care of all of his Dr. appointments, including taking him there and back home.
My older brothers basically have nothing to do with Dad. One lives less than 10 miles away and visits Dad once every week, or two. Prior to Dad being diagnosed with throat cancer, he hadn't seen Dad in over 6 months. The other lives about 5 hours away and MIGHT see Dad once a year. Prior to cancer, this brother hadn't seen Dad in about.....6 years!
I am the executor of Dad's will and I KNOW that both brothers WILL "be there" when Dad passes....I can guarantee you of that! I know that they are going to EXPLODE when they find out that *I* am the executor and will come back on me about not paying Dad any "rent" while living there...I know they will!!
What do I need to do to protect myself from being drug threw the legal system when Dad passes?? Any/all advice is appreciated
By the way.....both brothers have a LOT of money.....one just moved into a $300,000 home and the other has an acreage/farm AND a "winter" home in California!! I understand they are in dire straits, but not nearly as much as I am....I have enough money to basically survive.
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I did consult an attorney and he said because the house was in both our names she could not will it to my brother. I am sole owner because of rights of survivor.
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I get my mothers groceries and other things she needs and she has me use her bank debit card so what I do is keep all receipts from bank withdrawl to grocery receipts and it is labelled with what is bought so if the bank account is checked everything is accounted for...you have to assume while your siblings cant be bothered because the elderly parent is a nuisance they will tun on you with accusations
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Get to a lawyer for a free consult, you may be able to recover some compensation if you can prove you were her caregiver.
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Torn, unfortunately it is your duty to carry out the Will. The financial problems of the heirs is not relevant. Carry it out as written or you could end up in jail.
There is no fair or unfair at this point. There is the Will, and the law says you uphold it.
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Sorry to hear of your mother's death.

Are you the person to execute the Will?

Fair or not, the Will is a legally binding document of you mother's last wishes. It can't be changed, but must be executed as stated. I am surprised to learn that her estate has not been settled almost 2 years after her death.
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my mom passed in September 2013, I was as the representative, power of attorney, and personal representative. I have two brothers one older one younger my younger brother and I work the primary caregivers, mainly myself, after my mother passed I read the will which stated my oldest brother would get her house we lost the house my younger brother was to get and I have my grandmothers, who is bad as well. My name is on all the deets. My brother what's going through a divorce and it nowhere to live. Ix my older brother to buy me out and I would release the lane to him for a fee we agreed on. In order to give my other brother money tomove . He said no. He moved out and left the house. My younger brother live there now. Should the house be given to my older brother because it was in the will? He did live there, but did very little caring for Mom. What do you think?
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