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MY HUSBAND AND I ARE SOLE CAREGIVERS FOR MY 92 YEARD OLD MOTHER, WHO HAS MODERATE ALZHEIMERS. I AM WITH HER 24/7. WE PROVIDE FOR ALL HER NEEDS. WE HAVE ANOTHER HOME WE WANT TO MOVE ONTO AND SELL THE ONE WE ARE NOW LIVING IN. WE ARE BOTH RETIRED AND WANT TO MAKE PLANS FOR A LIFE AFTER CAREGIVING WE ARE DETERMINNED TO CARE FOR MY MOM UNTIL THE END, NO MATTER WHAT. MOM HAS LIVED HERE WITH US FOR ALMOST 20 YEARS AND WE SELDOM LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT HER AND HIRE SOMEONE TO STAY WITH HER WHEN WE NEED TO RUN ERRANDS. BUT NOW SHE DOESN'T REALLY KNOW WHERE SHE IS MOST OF THE TIME. I AM WORRIED THE MOVE WILL CAUSE HER TOO MUCH ANXIETY BUT I ALSO FEEL I NEED TO DO SOMETHING FOR US FOR ONCE.

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I think an anxiety medication might help her as well; as cattails mentioned. When my MIL lived with us; after a while she gradually was confused where she was. She thought our house was her house; she thought her mother was alive again and she had to take care of her. It was really sad; but I would talk her through it sometimes as it was causing her anxiety. Other times, just changed the subject. It all depends on how she was feeling that day. So, even if you move; she will probably be confused but might adjust more than you realize. And as it was earlier posted; as long as she has you and your husband in your life - you are her constants no matter where she is living.

I really admire that she has lived with you for twenty years; I hope your retirement is wonderful. You deserve it. Take care.
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20 years? Oh my gosh that's a long time to have someone other than a spouse or a kid live with you. I wish my in-laws would've followed through with moving into a retirement place while my father-in-law was still alive. Then it wouldn't have been such a shock for my mother-in-law to have to deal with on her own, with the dementia she has. Cattails is right, it'll probably cause your mom some confusion for awhile, but I think if you start talking about it in regular conversation to her and with her, about her moving that might help. But then again everyone's brain is different and that may wig her out more. Only you know the answer to that one. I wish you a good retirement though. You know what they say, that the 60's are the new 40's. Jury is still out on that. ha
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Caring: It seems quite possible a move will cause your mom some anxiety. Possibly you can talk to her doctor and he can recommend some medication that might help with the relocation. Maybe the most important "constant" in her life is that you and your husband will continue to be with her. That will not change.

I think it's wonderful that you are doing something exciting for yourselves. Don't let your mom's medical issues stop you from taking this step. She'll still be with you.

Best of luck, Cattails
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