Mother wants her jewelry, at assisted living.

Follow
Share

Well, she has been on this kick for 3 weeks. She already had $300.00 stolen that she insisted on having in her purse. She is of sound mind, if you can call it that. So, we can't pass off some fake necklaces as real. She wants a certain jewelry box from her home, which she knows we moved for safe keeping. Have any of you just gave up and given in? I have told her "No." Now, her POA is going to tell her that the facility won't allow her to have expensive stuff there. it is always something.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
29

Comments

Show:
1 2 3
I gave my mother my own costume jewelry to wear. I bring her jewelry on holidays when the AL has family meals. I have her choose something and keep the rest with me taking the good item when we go back to her apartment. It's sad. Only two items seem to have been taken. Other things she reported stolen, I found where she hid them. I also put notes in her dresser letting her know I have her jewelry safe in case she forgets.
(1)
Report

Spence, Most facilities have rules restricting gifts to employees. Do make sure this really happened though. I'd speak to management.
(0)
Report

Such an old topic but so valuable to keep going. Keep the fake stuff for the facilities my MIL had $10 necklace gone off her neck within three days of being there. It was very sentimental to her from my husband to the three generations her, me and our daughter. So sad..
(1)
Report

It will be stolen. Don’t do it.
(1)
Report

Never bring valuable jewelry to Nursing Home. I worked at one and jewelry was the first to go. Get her cheap costume jewelry only you will not feel so bad if stolen. CNA's, RN's, and cleaning persons can not be trusted.
(1)
Report

Frayas

Some facilities have it worded in the admissions papers they're not responsible for missing and/or damaged items.
(1)
Report

You could take the jewelry with you when you visit so Mom can wear it for outings.
My MIL actually gave most of the females in the family her jewelry when we gathered for their 60th wedding anniversary. I think her dementia was already manifesting itself but FIL was fine with it and everything stayed in the family
(3)
Report

I work in a facility and I say put it away for safe keeping. We do not have any issues at our facility but we do have one resident that insists on wearing her diamonds and rubies everyday. She can not put them on herself or take them off. We all hate dealing with them because we know if they go missing it will be a nightmare. There is no need for such things . I know they are sentimental but if they disappear then ....well... they are gone and can not be passed down to family to be cherished. Try and give her the control back by asking her to gift them to the person she wants to have them. Might work, with the lady I mentioned above it did not but I know it has with others. It is common that they want stuff because they feel like everything is being taken away..... it is often not about the "stuff" but about losing their independence and voice. They want to be in charge of their own life and families want what is best for them......they are usually not the same thing! Plastic bubbles are for gum ball machines not for moms and dads LOL.... Sometimes you might have to lose the jewelry to make mom happy.... after all it is just stuff . Yes I know I contradicted myself ...welcome to assisted living LOL . Pick you battles, some are not worth it.
As for the person who gave aide the necklace.... yes you can get it back they aide should never have accepted it! I will take a piece of candy or cookie and such but NEVER a gift. If the resident insists then I take it turn around and take it to my boss and she calls the family for approval but it is frowned upon and as you see causes trouble.
(2)
Report

Do not! You will never see the jewelry again
(0)
Report

Don't do it - everything gets taken or lost - my mom is very frantic about having her purse (it's a security blanket for her ) so I got her a cross body small one that she can wear around her neck and put small stuff like lifesavers tissues her readers and even play money which looks extremely real - the purse disappeared and several days later was found with only $144 of fake money missing

Although she greatly misses her watch and ring I tell her only for special occasions and then I take it home - she has a cheap watch for everyday which is easy to replace
(1)
Report

1 2 3
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Related
Questions