My mother stresses when my brother and other family comes to visit.

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She saw my brother grab me by the throat, he tells everyone that I attacked him (which isn't true) charges were not made due to the fact that my other brother backed him up.
When she gets stressed she has a harder time functioning. They believe (4 out 0f 7 children) I am stealing money . Which she has little. She is wheelchair bound with Parkinson's and I care for her 6 days a week with 10 hours off. I only get paid $1000. a month with room and board. It's the typical never sees her but maybe 2 times a year. They are very domineering and pushy. Critical of everything I do. Even though she is more healthy and happy since I took over as caregiver 2 1/2 years ago.

I promised my mom that I would keep her at home for as long as I can. It was right after my Dad died I feel like they are pushing me and her as far as they can.
She has enough money to live on but not enough or insurance to pay for a care home. They don't care how much I am saving her compared to previous caregivers or a facility. I want her to be happy. But I have a hard time dealing with them and Mom after they visit. It takes a lot of work to help her afterward. She goes completely in a zone and is tired for weeks.


How often do they visit? Can Mother ask them not to come? Could future visits happen at a restaraunt or other public place, to minimize the chance of high drama?
Oh ... and who has POA?
I have POA for Health. They only come to visit MAYBE every 2 to 6 months. Some of her children she hasn't seen for 2 to 3 years. She won't tell them not to come. She is to afraid to. One of the daughters disowned her and is now acting like nothing happened. She doesn't like being yelled at like that so she stays neutral about most things they say and do. As far as going somewhere to me, personally I would rather not be at the same table. At home I can keep a distance and step in if needed. They are coming to visit in 2 days and already mom is "out of it". No strength and has the empty look in her eyes. But when they show she will be her normal self until they leave. Then the "out of it" will last for days sometimes weeks.
What is your question, kllserna? Are you venting (which you are certainly entitlted to!) or are you looking for suggestions about something?
How do I try to keep my Mother from stressing so much about her other children visiting? I don't talk poorly about them, but she always seems to worry about them coming.

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