Mother unwillingly refuses to go into nursing home.
My boyfriends mother is 70 yrs. old, we moved in last August, She has been homebound for 4 1/2 yrs, has a non-reversible colostomy, stage 4 COPD, stage 3 kidney failure, heart problems, had 2 strokes, had an artery occlusion, is legally blind, is 5'3" weighs over 200 lbs, eats constantly,she doesn't have one good tooth in her mouth, her teeth and black and literally breaking off at the roots, she refuses any type of help, is on 2 liters of oxygen, smokes 10 to 12 cigarettes, has dementia and alzheimers and a brain tremor (from alcohol withdrawl). She lays in bed or on the couch all day and complains and moans and groans all the time. All of the health problems that she has "aren't her fault". She refuses to do anything to help herself get better. (ITS A LOSING BATTLE) She refuses to exercise, (CUZ IT HURTS). It has become "UNBEARABLE" living with her and hearing her complain and moan and groan all the time. We have "NO LIFE" outside the four walls we live under. She has to be the center of attention and exagerrates to get all the sympathy she can get. She lies to her doctor, she hates when her nurse comes for weekly visits, she gets aggravated and stresses herself out over nothing. There is no reasoning with her cuz she's "ALWAYS RIGHT!" She needs to go into a nursing homes but refuses, my boyfriend and I are "OVERWHELMED" and totally "STRESSED OUT". We feel like she is taking advantage of us 100%. There is no one else willing to take on the responsibility to care for her. She had 3 caregivers before and she fired all 3 because they wouldn't do what she wanted. When we moved in with her she told us that she would do everything she could to get better, but that lasted less than a month. We need to do something before we lose our sanity. Can anyone offer us any suggestions please?