Mother is making me crazy.
My 81 year old mother is living independently in her condo and is now being foreclosed on. I am trying to help her find a new place to live and have found a very nice (in my opinion) government funded independent senior living community about 25 minutes away from her current residence. You would think she would appreciate the help I am giving her to find her a place, where she can live independently that is clean and has social activities, but No. She is nasty to me every time we talk about her moving and god forbid, having to live in a smaller place. Right now she has a two bedroom two bath condo and will have to be in a one bedroom, one bath. See, she blames me and my husband for her "situation". She used to live in a condo that we bought and let her pay the mortgage. However, she began to get nasty and mean to my husband and purposely defied rules such as 'no pets' and such. She felt she is entitled to anything she wants. Well, she pushed too far and he asked her to leave and find a new place to live. So, she bought her own condo, that she could not afford and proceeded to spend all of her money on things like purses and who knows what else. Anywho, Mom continues to blame us every time a situation comes up that pertains to her finances and/or her living situation. Everything is our fault that she is in this predicament. Mind you, I make sure to see mom every Saturday and call her every day to check on her. I pick up groceries for her and help her manage her finances. She is also in the early stages of dementia (my diagnosis). Her short term memory is fairly bad but she does not forget where she lives or who her kids are, etc. Today I am at my wits end because we went to visit the facility that has a place for her and she was nasty to me driving all the way there and was rude to those working at the facility. We'll be lucky if they extend her an invitation to live there now and she needs to be out of her condo by July. I don't know what else to do with her. I am tired of helping her with things and having her be so ungrateful and nasty to me. There has to be another way. I should probably get her memory tested to see if she is truly in the early stages of dementia, but she'd be pissed at me about that too. My resolve is waning. I can only take so much. How do you all deal with it? Am I not strong enough? Should I be asking my brother for more help? He probably blames me for this situation as well and feels I should be the one helping my mother.