My mother-in-law is accepting assisted living.

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She will try it Monday, for 30 days. She can easily afford the cost. Her daughters have taken care of her, after a stroke for about 6 weeks. She does not have the use of her left side.

While she was in rehab, she contracted c-diff, an infection that a lot of elderly get and that slowed down her recovery somewhat.

Unlike my mother, she has been fairly easy to deal with and realizes that her own daughters (each in their 60s) have done all they can do for her.

What I didn't know, is that you just don't move in, like you would to an apartment. She has to see her doctor and there is a lot of paper work. I have never liked it when someone would say "Just take her to a nursing home." They have no idea, the work involved.

6 Comments

Chicago, I am glad that your MIL is being cooperative in trying out assisted living. My mom wasn't so happy. But she has been there for 5 months now and has adjusted. There are 3 kids and we visit regularly.

Unfortunately, there is alot of paperwork. I do hope your mom decides she likes it and is willing to stay. Blessings
Thank you for sharing that. I hope it goes well!
One step at a time. It will all come together in time and I hope your mom has an easy adjustment and finds her 'niche' and can be happy. When we toured a facility, I asked one of the ladies there if she was happy there. She said we are as happy as we 'allow ourselves' to be. I thought that was pretty profound coming from a tiny little wisp of a person who had to leave her home after husband died. I visited with her several minutes and gave her a hug and thanked her for being so candid with me. She smiled. She said not everyone is miserable here. Of course, it helps if it is a pleasant, well run facility and it was. We were not able to place my MIL there - but she would be there in a minute if we could. :0) All the best to you and your mom and your family. Sounds like you are all pulling together in the same direction - that always helps.
The doctors forms are 6 pages long and ours are 2 pages. Today she had to go get a TB test, so that it could be read, prior to admissions. Red tape.

She will have the facility do all of her meds, so we will need to deliver them and leave them with the RN. She can't take anything on her own, then - not even an aspirin. We aren't complaining, just figuring it all out.
In a few months it will all be 'routine.' Sounds likes things are coming along just fine so far. Best to you all. :0)
Count yourself lucky in the aspect that your MIL is willing to try AL. That is the first huge major hurdle. My mom was totally against the idea, but she'd worn me out, and it was a painful process for everyone. She viscerally 'hated' me every step of the way, including the doctor visit, TB test, etc.

Also had a thick bunch of forms to fill out, at least 20 pages, and labeling every piece of her clothing. It was not a fun time.

My mom will never be happy there, but she's doing okay. She wasn't happy here with us either and wouldn't be anywhere else but her home she shared with my dad before he passed.

Visit often and do what you can to make them comfortable. Sending you kind thoughts that MIL adjusts well.

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