I need to understand why my mother had to endure severe pain with hospice and in a nursing facility.
She had Altzheimers and had broken her hip three weeks before. Rehab rejected because she could not follow commands. The long-term care facility were attentive but allowed her to be in pain for at least 48 hours and probably longer. Thank God I was there when she passed, but I watched helplessly as she struggled. The grief is extremely raw and I do not want to be around others. I believe that we did everything possible by caring for her for six years, and yet, I couldn't help her in the end so that she was not in pain when she passed. I am dealing with anger at the health care professionals for not doing more. I am also angry with my brother who never bothered to check on her. Yes, I am going to counselling to try to rid myself of these dark emotions. I am a Christian and believe in the power of prayer, but I cannot pray these emotions away until I can understand why her death happened like it did. BTW, she was 90 years old, and some brush it off as having lived a long, full life, but she was still my mother and then became my child when her dementia advanced. I really have no question, but it feels good to write this.