My Mother is fixated on health care.
I am getting ready to take my mother to the third doctor appointment this week. We have another appointment tomorrow (Thursday) morning. Her pharmacist just called me about the prescription she called in this morning. Her primary care physician has lost interest in my mother because she cries wolf so often. I know exactly how he feels, but now I have to come up with another one for her. I started to call one this morning, but couldn't make myself do it. We have had at least four appointments a week since the start of January.
It seems like this would be easy to handle just by saying no, I won't take you. That is very hard to do when living with the person. If I don't think her health problems are critical, she goes into "Well, I will just go ahead and die" screaming mode. She calls doctors while I am in my room. If I don't take her, she will call a worker who charges her $100 to do it.
She talks about her symptoms from the moment she wakes until she goes to bed. I don't even want to be around her. I know the things she should do to make her feel better, but she won't do them. She loves going to doctors, and believes that pills take the place of making any positive changes. With dementia getting worse, there doesn't seem to be much hope of making changes.
I have gone into serious self-protection mode. It is impossible to work or create anything when Mother is having to go to the doctor every day for whatever illness she imagined for the day. Hypochondria, Manchaussens, or just narcissistic attention seeking, I don't know. She doesn't have the ability to care what she is doing to me. I know my time in caregiving is drawing to an end if I can't change what she is doing. Maybe she needs to be in skilled nursing where she can receive treatment all day long if she needs it. It is a shame, though, because physically she is able to live in her home. She just can't stop obsessing on every skin bump or itch she has.
Thanks for listening to the vent. I know there are only two answers -- buck up or get out. I'm sure I would be arrested if I went in the back yard and started screaming. :-O