My mother died tonight.

Question

My mother died tonight.

Follow

Share

I visited Mom in the nursing home on Friday. Things were as usual. One sister visited her on Monday and played cards with her. The two other sisters who visited on Tuesday and Wednesday found her not herself at all, and complaining of back pain. Tonight the nursing home sent her to the hospital. She died en route.

I am so grateful that Mom had only a couple of days of not being herself and being in some pain. Lingering would have been very sad.

I am grateful to have had her in our lives so long. She was 96. Although she had dementia she knew us to the end and enjoyed our visits.

I am grateful that she accepted the nursing home and even seemed to enjoy it. She made friends. She was content.

I am grateful that my three sisters and I cooperated fully in taking care of her. We each emailed a brief report of every visit.

The last topic regarding our mother that my sisters and I emailed each other about was whether to use cloth or plastic table clothes at a family dinner we were organizing at the nursing home for her this month. I am grateful she was content and our focus could be on her pleasure right up to the end.

Caregiver Support End of Life Grief

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.

52 Comments

Newest
First Oldest
First

1 2

8/31/2016

(3)

Report

1 2

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.

Recent Questions

Related Questions

Start a Discussion

A anonymous281963 Sep 2016 · Answer 1 · 2016-09-01T02:20:25.000-0400

So sorry Jeanne, so very sorry for you to lose Mom.
If you want, I can check back on here with you throughout the night, respond that I am just here for you.
Breathe deeply, many hugs, my sympathies to you and your family.
Love, from Send

J jeannegibbs Sep 2016 · Answer 2 · 2016-09-01T02:33:05.000-0400

How kind of you, Sendme. I'm deciding whether to go see Mom's body before the cremation (I think not) and also whether to join my sister tomorrow to vacate Mom's NH room (I think I might). I don't think I'll sleep much tonight, and I'll probably be on the computer off and on. It is good to know you are thinking of me.

A anonymous281963 Sep 2016 · Answer 3 · 2016-09-01T02:41:32.000-0400

You are such a gracious lady, grateful for so much about Mom, thinking of the good. I will be back here too, on and off, prayers for your comfort.

B BlackHole Sep 2016 · Answer 4 · 2016-09-01T02:59:04.000-0400

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your dedication was a blessing to your mother, as was the cooperation amongst your sisters. Your family teamwork is remarkable. Take comfort in old memories....and honor your mother by creating new memories with your sisters. Wishing you grace and tranquility during this bittersweet transition.

S SharynMMarie Sep 2016 · Answer 5 · 2016-09-01T03:20:25.000-0400

jeanne, my sincere sympathies for the loss of your dear mother. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

M MsMadge Sep 2016 · Answer 6 · 2016-09-01T04:07:00.000-0400

Dear Jeanne
What a remarkable post - even on a night of profound loss you were able to offer inspiration to others
We are grateful for you - thinking of you tonight and in the days ahead
God bless you and your sisters

A anonymous281963 Sep 2016 · Answer 7 · 2016-09-01T04:12:44.000-0400

Jeanne,
Your Mom left a legacy-being content.
There must have been many.
I will remember that one, and file it with my mother's saying: "Bloom where you are planted".

P pamzimmrrt Sep 2016 · Answer 8 · 2016-09-01T04:35:54.000-0400

Oh Jeanne I am so very sorry, my prayers and thoughts are with you, and I know you can take pride and joy from the care you provided and the love you gave.

G Gershun Sep 2016 · Answer 9 · 2016-09-01T04:53:29.000-0400

(((((Jeanne))))) My heart hurts for you.

B BarbBrooklyn Sep 2016 · Answer 10 · 2016-09-01T05:01:44.000-0400

Dear Jeanne, what a blessing to have a mother so content! Be comforted by your memories.

C Countrymouse Sep 2016 · Answer 11 · 2016-09-01T05:05:22.000-0400

I'm so sorry, Jeanne.

How like you to think first of everything there is to be grateful for! I hope you and your family will also give yourselves credit for having brought about those positives and supported one another.

Wishing you all comfort.

A anonymous281963 Sep 2016 · Answer 12 · 2016-09-01T06:04:55.000-0400

Comfort and prayers tonight, Jeanne!

G gladimhere Sep 2016 · Answer 13 · 2016-09-01T06:24:24.000-0400

Jeanne, I am so sorry for your loss. What a blessing, indeed, that she had daughters that worked together, supported one another, all for their mom. She must have appreciated it so, and loved you all even more for that. Take pride in all you and your sisters did for her. It is an example for so many. Thinking of you and your family.

T tush2112 Sep 2016 · Answer 14 · 2016-09-01T08:06:38.000-0400

Jeanne,May our heavenly father bless you & your family in this time of need.Your mother has passed through HEAVENS door & beyond & her soul rest in peace.The beauty of all is that all of your siblings got along together until the end.That is such a wonderful ending that it even made dementia fly away with your support & love.

A anonymous281963 Sep 2016 · Answer 15 · 2016-09-01T08:10:56.000-0400

Jeanne, Maybe get some rest throughout the day, between things going on.
Again, my condolences to you and your family.
Love from Send
9/1/2016. 5:11 a.m. PDT.

C cjbailey Sep 2016 · Answer 16 · 2016-09-01T08:10:58.000-0400

So sorry for your loss. As with all your posts, you are grateful, gracious and inspiring. God bless you and your family.

G Guestshopadmin Sep 2016 · Answer 17 · 2016-09-01T08:13:04.000-0400

Jeanne, you always offer comfort and good advice to others. Please take care of you in this time too. Sorry for your loss but so glad your family was able to work together for your Mom. Do help your sister with room, but please think twice on body. Personal experience....hugs

K kellse Sep 2016 · Answer 18 · 2016-09-01T08:25:59.000-0400

I am so sorry

R realtime Sep 2016 · Answer 19 · 2016-09-01T10:02:41.000-0400

Jeanne, Your grace is an inspiration. I'm so sorry about your mother. Hugs to you and your sisters.

M micalost Sep 2016 · Answer 20 · 2016-09-01T10:37:56.000-0400

(((Tight Hug))) .....thankful.

G GardenArtist Sep 2016 · Answer 21 · 2016-09-01T11:08:08.000-0400

Jeanne, I too add my sympathy as well as compliments for the cooperative and professional way your family handled the issues of your mother's last months.

Let your thoughts and feelings of the moment be your guide in determining what you may or may not feel up to for the next few days.

K katiekat2009 Sep 2016 · Answer 22 · 2016-09-01T11:14:09.000-0400

My prayers will be with you. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for the advice you regularly give to us on this site.

Z zythrr Sep 2016 · Answer 23 · 2016-09-01T11:35:06.000-0400

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family can take comfort that your mom is at peace and not in pain anymore.

J JessieBelle Sep 2016 · Answer 24 · 2016-09-01T11:36:16.000-0400

Jeanne, I am so sorry. Your mother was one of the luckiest women in the world to have so many daughters who loved her. And you were lucky to have one of the best mothers. ((((Jeanne and sisters))))

F freqflyer Sep 2016 · Answer 25 · 2016-09-01T11:43:14.000-0400

To Jeanne, my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family.

R Rainmom Sep 2016 · Answer 26 · 2016-09-01T11:57:17.000-0400

Jeanne - I'm so sorry.

S STP Sep 2016 · Answer 27 · 2016-09-01T12:14:27.000-0400

Hi Jeanne, Give you a hug instead of saying something....

R Rainmom Sep 2016 · Answer 28 · 2016-09-01T12:18:37.000-0400

A movie quote for your mother -

"It's amazing, Molly. The love inside - you take it with you".
~ Sam Wheat, Ghost.

S staceyb Sep 2016 · Answer 29 · 2016-09-01T12:27:59.000-0400

Dear Jeanne, I am so sorry to hear of your Mother's passing. I know that you and your sisters did so much to make these past few years as nice as possible. Like you, having the family collectively supportive make the world of difference, and I know how it gives you peace of mind, that your Mom was able to have good relations with all of her daughter's and that they were all looking out for her best interests. You have been so incredible, kind and insightful to all of us here on the AC, and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in the coming days. Please check in, and tell us how you are doing! Remember to take some time to rest, and to take care of you! I hope you can check in, and tell us how you are doing, because we all Love you Jeanne!

My mother died tonight.

52 Comments

Recent Questions

Popular Questions

Related Questions