My mother died tonight.

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I visited Mom in the nursing home on Friday. Things were as usual. One sister visited her on Monday and played cards with her. The two other sisters who visited on Tuesday and Wednesday found her not herself at all, and complaining of back pain. Tonight the nursing home sent her to the hospital. She died en route.

I am so grateful that Mom had only a couple of days of not being herself and being in some pain. Lingering would have been very sad.

I am grateful to have had her in our lives so long. She was 96. Although she had dementia she knew us to the end and enjoyed our visits.

I am grateful that she accepted the nursing home and even seemed to enjoy it. She made friends. She was content.

I am grateful that my three sisters and I cooperated fully in taking care of her. We each emailed a brief report of every visit.

The last topic regarding our mother that my sisters and I emailed each other about was whether to use cloth or plastic table clothes at a family dinner we were organizing at the nursing home for her this month. I am grateful she was content and our focus could be on her pleasure right up to the end.

53 Comments

So sorry Jeanne, so very sorry for you to lose Mom.
If you want, I can check back on here with you throughout the night, respond that I am just here for you.
Breathe deeply, many hugs, my sympathies to you and your family.
Love, from Send
8/31/2016
How kind of you, Sendme. I'm deciding whether to go see Mom's body before the cremation (I think not) and also whether to join my sister tomorrow to vacate Mom's NH room (I think I might). I don't think I'll sleep much tonight, and I'll probably be on the computer off and on. It is good to know you are thinking of me.
You are such a gracious lady, grateful for so much about Mom, thinking of the good. I will be back here too, on and off, prayers for your comfort.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your dedication was a blessing to your mother, as was the cooperation amongst your sisters. Your family teamwork is remarkable. Take comfort in old memories....and honor your mother by creating new memories with your sisters. Wishing you grace and tranquility during this bittersweet transition.
jeanne, my sincere sympathies for the loss of your dear mother. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Dear Jeanne
What a remarkable post - even on a night of profound loss you were able to offer inspiration to others
We are grateful for you - thinking of you tonight and in the days ahead
God bless you and your sisters
Jeanne,
Your Mom left a legacy-being content.
There must have been many.
I will remember that one, and file it with my mother's saying: "Bloom where you are planted".
Oh Jeanne I am so very sorry, my prayers and thoughts are with you, and I know you can take pride and joy from the care you provided and the love you gave.
(((((Jeanne))))) My heart hurts for you.

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