Mom won't stop with the "I wanna die" talk...

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My mom's been going through chemo and radiation for rectal cancer. She has a good prognosis. She hasn't lost any hair nor has gone through "extreme" side effects. She has a lot of discomfort with burning and chaffing also bleeding when she uses the bathroom.

She has ONE more day left of radiation! We're hoping the small tumor has dissolved into nothing, however if it didn't, my mom is old school -- she does NOT want to be opened up for surgery. She thinks that once they open you up -- that's it. So, we respect her decision to not go with surgery and just do the "maintaining", which is going to be another whole set of siblings trying to go back and forth driving mom here and there. So, ... yeah.

If you are religious, or even spiritual, would you mind saying a prayer for my mom that her tumor is gone? Tomorrow is the last day and she has three weeks to know if it has been changed to non-cancerous. She said she wants to die if the tumor is still there. I get it. Cancer sucks the life out of you, but I want my mom to have quality of life. Her worst fear is having a colostomy bag, because my grandfather committed suicide because he had to get one for his illness back in 1970. Times have changed though.

Regardless, please, if you can, all I'm asking is to just pray for her, or send some positive energy.

Thanks so much for reading this....


I am so sorry, please know I am praying for her, asking God please hear our prayers so your Mom will get the best He has for her, I'm 71 and everytime I have prayed that ernest prayer the outcome has aways been the best for me. My name is Barb and I am praying as I type this!!! May God's Best Blessings fall on all of YOU!!!
Sending hugs and sending prayers upstairs. My Dad, who was 90 when they discovered Rectal cancer, did have his tumor decreased to almost nothing by radiation. There is hope!!! Don't forget that. Try to stay positive, but I know how hard that is to do.
Prayers going out as I write you. It is hard to hear "I wanna die" from those we love but "I wanna die" is their way of saying "I hate this" and certainly we can all understand hating cancer. When your mom starts this talk, try to agree with her on one point by saying " we all want the cancer to die mom and we'll all work together to get you passed this but we need you to do your part". It's a daily battle but luckily no two days are alike and with any luck tomorrow will be a better day.
Prayers for her and for you. I am sorry for your struggles. Is there something that your mom loves and will life for? Maybe an older dog or cat a gold fish. Something to love and care about more than herself. Even a plant. Sending prayers
I am praying for your mum, and for you.

Such a stigma attached to colostomies, but they are so much more discreet these days, and often reversible (resectioning often works now)

You don't say how old your mum
Is, or her quality of life taking this out of the equation?

My nan died of bowel cancer. I am terrified if getting it. I think you have to allow your mum to feel what she is feeling, but is there a nice colo rectal consultant in the hospital who can sit and talk with her about her fears?

I don't know if she is too set in her ways to listen, but if there is someone she likes/respects it may help her attitude?

Ar some point you have to consider who you are keeping them alive for. We can sometimes be selfish.

Just pray to our Lord that whatever is his will be done here with the least suffering for your mum. It's not giving up, but it does tale the weight and guilt off your shoulders when in a situation that in reality you have so little control over.
PrYing got me through my mum's recent passing. Total trust in God's will gave me much needed peace towards the end. I fought and fought with the consultants. Exhausted me and just prolonged mum's death rather than extended her life.

I do pray for you all.
In prayer for your mother and for your family. I have some personal experience with what you are going through. Please know that her spirit is always safe.
May your mother's condition become for the better and to be able to have the quality of life each and everyone of us hope for in our elder years.
She must be very uncomfortable, and scared. She'll get tougher, she's just new at this. :) Adding my prayer that she will get past this as physically capable as possible... and most of all that the fear will subside, on everyone's part. It sounds like there's a lot of support there, which makes all of you very blessed indeed. Best wishes.
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Prayers for your mom and all of you. I hope everything turns out well. I'm glad that you respect her wishes about surgery or further treatment however. I do feel that is her right. Now, show probably just so miserable and also scared that she's saying she wants to die, but we can hope and pray that she will be fine in awhile. Take care,
Prayers for you . She must be so scared. But she also knows that if she dies there is no more pain or sickness. God will take care of it let her talk all she wants it is better than keeping it inside. How old is your Mom? Gods Blessings on you and your Mom.

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