Mom wants to go home.

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Mom is 93. Sharp mentally.She has thrived in our home with companions helping.She wants to go home and not have companions and I am fearful she will be alone more and fall.Brother and sister are near but not as attentive


A parent wanting to go home is so very common. The trick is to figure out what home she wants to return to.

Curious, when does your Mom ask this? Was wondering if it was late in the afternoon, such as after 4pm. If yes, then it could be that your Mom may have what is called "sundowners" which is part of the dementia family. My Dad is clear minded for someone who is 94 during the day, but once 4pm rolls around, there is a lot of confusion what year he is living in :(

When my Mom [98] was alive, after she had a bad fall that resulted in a serious head injury, she wanted to "go home" from long-term-care... it took us a while to realize it wasn't the home that she had shared with my Dad, but the home she grew up in in another State. The first clue was when Mom asked if the cattle were still out in the field. Say what? The only home that had cattle was her childhood home.

So, unless your Mom is the type of 93 year old who still drives, plays tennis in the morning and plays bridge with the gals in the afternoon, then the answer would be "no".... you do have legit reason to be fearful. Your Mom is not as clear minded as you think if Mom feels she could live on her own in her own house.
Rite after dad had his stroke he was stuck in 1998 in the afternoon i found out it was sundowners at firts i didnt quite understand but after time ibrealize that if i keep him bussy in the after noon it is not so bad. Plenty of lite helps but keeping the mind bussy worked best for pops he also has parkins so it can be a challange good luck it will really work on u as well just remember its not really ur live one ur dealing with
You say your mom is sharp, but if she's 93 and has mobility problems, I would question if she is using good judgment by staying alone. Does it even make sense? She may be able to do math, but is she able to run her household, care for her daily needs, take medications, attend to hygiene, etc.?

You stated that she was living in your home and had companions. Is that no longer an option?

I might have her assessed to see what level of care she needs and then explore how to make that happen, such as staying in a family member's home with outside help coming in, Assisted Living, or nursing homes. You can read a lot about all of them on this site.

I would also read about (see posts above) how many seniors say they want to return home, but it means something different than what we think.
Thank you for this. Mom wants to return to her home. My brother lives there in the basement but will go to work at 4AM. My sister lives in house next door. Mom will be alone until a companion comes at 7:30 on weekdays. I am Incistant they look and alarm and sister can come let the companion in . They need to stay until brother comes or sister relieves, They think I am being too pushy and she will be fine!

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