She told me this morning (in front of the one she wants to get rid of) that we all need to talk and decide who is going to do what. I asked her what she meant but she was being vague. I asked if she wanted all three caregivers there at the same time and she said "Why can't we just have a conference call"? I told her that won't work and whatever needs to be said needs to be in person...face to face. I found out last night that the caregiver she wants to get rid of was asked to water the plants outside but we have had enough rain that they didn't need it so caregiver said "No.". Well, that ticked off Mom and she said "do it anyway" and caregiver again said "No".
Mom believes that the caregivers are there to cater to her every whim, whether it be to take her to Wal-Mart, the library, etc whenever she wants and weather be dam%$d. She wants what she wants when she wants it, and if she doesn't get her way, she pouts. Complains when the caregivers hover, but then complains when they aren't paying her attention. I am trying to decipher what is truly going on, and I wish I could just drop in during the day to see how things are, but I work 30 minutes from her house and just can't do that. I have thought of getting a hidden camera in the house, or a recording device that only comes on when people are talking.
Mom's needs come before her wants. She has asked the afternoon caregiver to make another cake, pie, and brownies (all on the same day) but Mom doesn't eat it all and so it gets thrown away. I can't get her to understand, and I know I am dealing with a parent who is showing signs of dementia so it is a losing battle, that she doesn't need all that food. You tell her no and she gets all mad.
I have asked her what her problem with Caregiver #1 is and she says "she sits on her a$$ all day". It may be necessary to make a "chore list" of things that need to be done on a daily basis and go from there.
I understand that since Daddy died Mom has declined and that she is slowly slipping away. They were married for 53 years!
I am one of those people who wants to make everyone happy, but I have come to realize that is impossible. I am trying very hard to make sure that I take time for myself and need to make sure that Mom is cared for, but she may not get what she wants all the time.
This caregiving sucks sometimes...