My mother thinks it is my obligation to support her.
In July of 1996 my father died of a massive heart attack at the age of 66. My mother was 59 at the time. My father was a businessman who owned a business as well as property. The will stipulated that upon his death. The property and the business would be turned over to me and I would have to provide my mother with an income from the proceeds of the property. My father left my mother their mortgage free house as well as a significant IRA and savings. My mother has always had a problem with money and gambling. This is why my father created his will the way he did. To preserve what he worked so hard to accumulate while at the same time providing for my mother to some degree. The problem with the plan is my mother. She wants me to take the role of my father in that she should have a steady stream of money whenever she wants without any question or discussion of how she is spending it. As you can imagine, especially in this economy, the property is rented but not generating an endless amount of money. I pay the bills and the expenses on the property I inherited and send the balance of the rent to my mother every month for the last 16 years. She is not happy. Nor are my sisters who constantly call me to pressure me to give her more, more, more. When I ask why she needs more with what I give her, what she has in savings and social security, they balk. She needs it, what kind of son says no to his elderly mother. The kind that is not going to support her gambling habit! They are in complete denial of this fact. My sisters feel that I should support my mother in the style in which my father did, forgetting that I am her son, not her spouse. I am 53, married with two children and my own responsibilities and aspirations. They look with disdain when I make a purchase or improve my home as if I'm using my mother's money to do these things. When I ask them to come see the checkbook to prove that the bills are paid and the rest of the rent goes to my mother, they run, They refuse to acknowledge the truth. My wife and I both work full time. We work hard to make a nice home and life for our family. It is disheartening that my own mother is resentful of this fact. I did not cause her to become a young widow. She made decisions in her life that put her in this position. I am only executing my father's wishes and getting the brunt of her and my sister's anger over her circumstances. My father was wise, he knew that the assets he had would be gone in a slot machine if left directly to my mother, but as the diligent son, this is a hard position to be in. I am doing the best I can with what I was given and get no respect or admiration for it. I am the only person who's inheritance has cost him money and aggravation.