How do I get Mom to stay permanently in the rehab center/SNF?

Started by

Mom was sent to rehab/SNF by her doctor after a hospitalization. She refuses to eat or drink for days, then becomes delirious. This has triggered dementia and now behavior issues. She is not mobile but tries to get out of her bed/wheelchair. Curses at me when I visit because I correct her when she lies. She has visions. Sees people in the closet and in her bed. I do not want to bring her home, because there is no one else to care for her. She is 94 years old.

17 Comments

Has she been tested for a Urinary Tract infection? These often cause behavioral symptoms in the elderly.

Have you had her seen by the geriatric psychiatrist at the nursing home?

You don't correct a dementia patient, because they aren't " lies", they are delusions.

Read everything you can about dementia on here. Watch videos by Teepa Snow.
Thank you Barb for your speedy reply, mom has been tested many times for a UTI. She is tested every Monday at the SNF. Her PCP is a geriatric physician. It was his decision, along with the social workers at the hospital not to send her home, he said that mom needed care 24/7. At this time I have submitted documentation for medicaid(5,years of bank statements). Mom has no property, just ss income, she pays rent her name is on the rent statement,and she has an irrevocable pre-need funeral expense trust. I don't know how long it takes to evaluate. I am just concerned, I took off a lot of time from work to care for her, I must make up that time so that I will have a decent retirement check in a few years. There are no other family members to care for her. Do you know if I can refuse to sign her out of the SNF?
Yes you can refuse to sign her out. You can say she is a vulnerable adult and she will have no one to care for her at home. She is an "unsafe discharge".
You do not have to sign her out. She is where she needs to be right now.

You are an awesome daughter; making these decisions for our parents is excruciatingly hard!
Mom needs more care than you can provide. Facility will try to make you feel guilty for not bringing mom home. Do not fall for it. The social worker will find appropriate placement for mom.
another person from social services called to discuss at home care, I told her that i cannot care for mom at home as I have for the past 5 years. For one thing I took a lot of time off (unpaid). I work for a(n) international airline, work takes me away from home 3 nights per week, the day's vary each week, I paid a lady out of pocket, whom I trusted and mom loved to stay with mom, recently, this lady had surgery, she cannot work anymore, my mom is no longer mobile, she will need care 24/7 when I am away, before she was hospitalized in July I hired 2 new caretakers, she did not like them and did not want them to be alone with her, I explained all of this to social services, her response was that mom has a short term bed and she does not know if a long term bed is available, when I submitted the Medicaid application I was told that mom could stay pending medicaid approval.
All of this is stated in the patients bill of rights
Lately mom has been asking me to pack her suitcase because she has to leave, she doesn't have money, the "nice"lady from downstairs visited her and told her so...........are they trying to intimidate mom?........I am pretty much venting here, I know my rights . She has applied for long term care thru Medicaid and they have to keep her during the process.
The Social Worker should be helping you. If Mom can't stay at that facility maybe another one. You have a very good reason why Mom can't come home. They cost of having someone in your home on the days you r working is going to be a lot of money. I bet your work schedule varies. You need to be free to work.
Yes JoAnn, if the person is late I miss my trip I do not get paid, bad for my attendance file. I am leaving a stranger with mom for 4 days unsupervised..........all h*ll will. Break loose........ It happened before, she sent the lady home on day 2.
Facility called me today, said they will give me a list of facilities I need to pick because the y do not have a long term bed. What is the definition of a short term stay? She has been there 7 weeks.
I read on Medicare.gov that mom cannot be forced to move if she has applied for Medicaid, or if under appeal. Will they work harder to get her approved if she stays?
Just stand your ground with social services. It is THEIR job to find a place where your Mom is safe.

They will do everything they can to guilt you into taking her home...even imply Mom would be discharged to the street.

Do not fall for any of it.

They must transfer to a facility ... or keep her till they can.
Period
Stand your ground with social services - do not really engage except "she cannot live alone and there is no one to care for her" - they will have to find her a long term care bed. Your mom needs to be safe. They cannot discharge her into the street. They WILL try to make you feel guilty and obligated so they can move her out into your care. You know you cannot do it. Repeat, lather, rinse, repeat : "There is no one to take care of her"

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support