My mom is scaring away her caregivers!

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My Mother is scaring away her caregivers and she isn't listening to me. She is down two so far and it's only been two weeks, I am very upset with how she is acting, she doesn't have demensia, she has MS. She is rude, controlling and demanding. She told her caregiver to hang up the phone on me because I told her the 3rd caregiver was giving her notice.
I am sick of her,
I have the number for the police the number to call if she doesn't have anyone caring for her, in Ca the Police come in first and contract APS. My Mom is being such a pain and now not treating me right.


Ellie, some people are determined NOT to be Helped. This could be your Mom. Is she trying to get you to do the caregiving? Is there a different plan she is trying to make happen instead of these caregivers? If so, make clear it isn't going to happen. And maybe show her the alternatives, including the ones she will least like, so she can see that scaring them away does NOt solve the problem.
Is there someone in her physician's practice who might be able to help get the message through?
Is she still capable of caring for herself? If not you should tell her these are the choices, let someone come into your home to care for you OR you have to go to the nursing home! Sadly after years of MS there can be some dementia. My Mother can be extremely difficult with me, however she is nice to most everyone else.
Ellie, first you have to find out why she is being so mean. You must take her to a physican so they can get her perfessonal help.there is alot to consertor,we all go back to being babys but big babys with a attudite. she might need meds to help her till she realize you are only trying to help.there is alot of help out there. ask your caregivers. i wish you the lady is a 90 year old vet and spoil rotten. she has her monments and i leave the room till she stops being rude and needs me, i carry a montor around with me so where i have her setteing i can hear her, but if she is rude i leave her alone till she ready to be nice she usually ends up calling me for somethin and i make like nothin happen and go in with a smile on my face,its tough, but i care.... good luck...
Thank you everyone. I have done all of this. She is on meds, Zyprexa.
I work with her doctor and Psychiatrist. She just likes being the BOSS, my Dad was so controlling and belittling, it seems now it is her turn to be like this, perhaps she gets a thrill from it. She does not mean to scare them away, they just can't stand being with her. She is not even that mean, it's just the way she is, so picky, always calling them, messy, not appreciative, bossy, thinks she's the boss. She is in diapers and only has the use of one arm, she can't come out of the wheelchair. I think partly she is being mean because she feels she can.
no doubt it is somewhat a control issue... bless her heart she has no control over what is happening to her body. I think if you get trained professionals from a home care agency they should understand that... IS it at all possible she wants to push people away so she can have a pitty party? My Mom is difficult at times too... I feel for you honestly... take care
We are paying 7,500 a month right now.
She has enough money for a couple of years, she is turning very selfish too. The things she says...
It is somewhat amazing isn't it, my Mom will whine at me and it is like are you serious... If I had acted like that when I was a child I would have gotten slapped and I am NOT kidding... I think she wants us to feel sorry for her because my Dad is gone! I know even more now how much my Dad covered for her. She has dementia. take care Elliebabe!!!
Oh my. I feel your pain totally. My mother-n-law has been brought into our home to live permanently since July 2011. She is rude, abusive, down right mean at times. She turned 90 in March of this year. I don't have the luxury of any help. I am the primary caretaker 24/7. She lashes out because she is "walker bound" with balance issues, a fall ready to happen. She has the beginnings of alzheimer's, does not always make good decisions, gets easily confused, then because she is a depression era child, she "hides" things, esp money -so when she can't find something - look OUT!! She lashes out saying someone stole them. Oh, the stories she tells others. (I pray everyone knows that it's all untrue - so embarressing). When we have had phy.therapists coming in the home from past injuries, she has "fired them" - even through her walker at them. Why? She feels there is NOTHING wrong with her. She truly feels she can live alone, when we have had 2 doctors declare differently. She lashes out over fears, frustration and anger due to not being able to live independently on her own. Again, I feel for you & have no real answers, except to prepare caretakers of her actions before they are hired. Hugs to you. If you ever need to sound off - send me a message. I'm a good listener.
I think my Mom gets power off of being mean! She keeps telling people that SHE is the BOSS!
My Dad used the be the mean and abusive one. I think the feeling she gets from feeling she is in charge of others makes her feel empowered! Uggggggggggggg
thanks OhioGal08, I appreciate your kindness. It seems to always be something. My sister's God love em are somewhat oblivious because they are not close! Occationally I think it would be helpful if she lived, with us then I think well maybe not! take care... J

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