My Mom passed on tonight. She died alone...my heart is grieving.

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I am devastated. My only solace is that she is with the LORD now. But I am really upset with my siblings as they did not take turns by her bedside - even though it was so clear that she was in her last days. They were not there as they went to do an errand - only one could have left my mom's side - but they all left - left her alone and several hours later she passed on.

What is hard for me is that I had sent an email out to my siblings as there are issues between siblings and they prefer not to see each other. I sent out an email to ask for schedules for mom's care (mind you, I am out of the country and was doing this via email and video conferencing) - so MOM would always have love near her as she progressed in her decline. And two of my siblings were very angry with me for asking them about time with mom. Now I realize - they didn't want to stay by her bedside. They did not want to be there when she took her last breath.

I feel guilty I was not there by her side. But I could not do so...

Oh, Mom, I will miss you dearly... and look forward to seeing you one day in heaven.

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I think its awful thea your siblings wete not there.. forgiveness is a process. Pain makes us search for knowledge. Knowledge helps us forgive...and there is God... im so sorry for your loss. I sceard of loss.. god bless u, ur mom, and family.
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My heart goes out to you and I get it with siblings- you are the one that remained committed to her throughout. We can only be responsible for us and grateful the Lord gave you what you needed to at the time, and now she is whole. I think you are amazing and strong. Now you have so much to remind you of this and your beloved Mother that is no doubt so proud :)
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I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I lost my mom one month ago, and the grieving is terrible.

I want to say something about her being alone. I have read countless stories of people who were dying who have waited for their loved ones to be out of the room (even on a trip to the bathroom) to pass. For some reason the dying seem to look for these moments to pass so that they can spare the grief of watching them die. Even if your siblings had been there...she still may have waited till they were out of the room to pass. Think of this as her final kindness to your family. I say this because I was there when my mom passed, and while it was very peaceful and I was so lucky she didn't suffer...I can tell you that the image of her taking her final breath, and the physical changes to her body in the next minutes has been haunting me ever since. I literally am having flashbacks about it.

She loved you and your family. I hope you find peace. I haven't yet myself, but I know one day I will to.

Angel
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Montreal, you are in my prayers.
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My mother is in the hospital, dying. Nurses aren't always there but I try to help my mother and that is not enough. What I do is still little. I am crying every day and my insides are tearing apart and I feel alone when I go home late at night from the hospital. I cry out Mama,Mama as I walk home. I can't bear it and I love my mother so much, I wish to be young again when my mother took care of me and to do my life over again. Now it is so difficult for me to see her who used to take care of me and was strong and now she is so weak. She says to me, whatever god decides as though she knows.I am alone and I never dreamed that my world, my mother, will be going away forever from me. No friends, no family. I am alone with all my struggles.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. My mother died yesterday - She took a turn for the worse so I took her to the ER, was with her when she died unexpectedly and stayed with her after she had passed to grieve. It was very hard, but it must be harder still not being there and feeling helpless with your siblings. All I can say is that you cannot let the way she passed color your feelings - the pain of loss is bad enough, now you need to heal. Try to focus on your feelings and not what your siblings didn't do - you will have time later to hash it out after the first year has passed. Remember, no matter what they are your family and they are precious no matter what the disagreement. Sending prayer your way for you and your mom
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Perseverance, I agree with Nikki99. I do believe your mother was not alone. My Mom began seeing her loved ones more and more in the days before she died and then started seeing more angels. These visions increased until she died. I feel she was already transitioned into the new place before she passed.
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Condolences on your lost. I say go easy on your siblings. They were there to the extent that they were. Maybe you're anger at them is really guilt for your not being there? I had a situation where my mom was in a car accident. All of my siblings were at the hospital except for one. We had been at the hospital for hours and at some point decided that it was okay to go. Mom was soundly asleep on pain meds/sedatives and in no danger. My brother had decided to stay at work and come basically when it was convenient for him and then chastise us for not being there when he finally got there. He made a choice to not be there when it was most urgent. He could have left work. Anyway, I'm just saying you all shared a lost. We all handle things differently. You might have a strong belief about being there for the actual passing. They might believe it's best not to be there. So many families fall apart after the lost of a parent. Honor your mom and know that neither she or you are alone.
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I agree with Nikki99 opinion. When my MIL passed just before her last breath she sat up (something she hadn't done on her own due to her illness) her eyes filled with love looking towards something or someone, a smile on her face and then she left us. The hospice nurse said that this happens all the time. It's as though her "patients are happy to see someone they've been missing." As for your siblings, though they love your Mom maybe they aren't as strong as you are and couldn't handle the situation before them? Something else to think about, if you had it your way, you would have been there with your Mom. It's not your fault that it didn't work out like that. Try to let go of the guilt. Your Mom was lucky to have such a devoted and caring daughter in her life. I hope this helps and I'm very sorry for your loss.
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I am so so sorry to hear of your loss, and the circumstances that are making things even harder for you. I have no words, except that I have experienced both, once with a parent, once not. Both times I wanted to be there. You know, I think guilt is with us always, maybe just women? Scratch that, my husband's four sisters do nothing for their mother. At any rate, it seems you did a lot and should be proud of that.
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