83 yr old Mom is a nursing home prisoner. I want her back!

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I removed mom from a nursing rehab AMA last month and brought her to my home. She has already maxed out on phy therapy benefits, she wanted out, was depressed, bruised, not bathe regularly, etc. She can not live alone so has to give up her apartment.
The Dr reported me to the Dept of aging who paid me a surprise visit at my house and found mom happy and well cared for. I took her to the hospital 8 days later because she had some signs of stroke but she was ok - just needed oxygen. She was admitted for observation. Her MD who was upset with me suddenly declared her incompetent. She further had a 2nd MD from the same network declare Mom incompetent. They did not let me take her home. The dept of aging said she would call for an emergency guardianship by a judge.She can not name me POA while incompetent (which she is not). Although the MD and Dept of aging know that I have protected Mom for years, she does not name me guardian because I removed her from an abusive situation at the nursing home. They do not allow me to bring another MD into the picture. She is becoming a healthcare system clique prisoner. She wants to be home with me not in a nursing home. She is low income but I can and want to take care of her. At minimum I will fight for her to have a voice. On a good note, at least they put her in a different nursing home where they do care for her but it is temporary. What can I do to prepare for court to gain guardianship of mom who is 83.


Sounds like you need to hire an attorney! Seek legal advice would be my suggestion you are going to need help to take control of the situation. Does anyone have a medical POA? If not get with an attorney ASAP because they are the ones who can help.
Write down succinctly why you removed mom AMA, what provisions you have done in order for her to live with you citing all safety measures in your home, menu planning, social outings, if she likes to attend church, etc. Make a compelling case for why she would be better off in your care. If you have no medical background, and your mom has medical problems, then I can see why two doctors have ruled against you. Having someone incompetent living with you in a very difficult and stressful full-time 24/7 job. Are you prepared for that? I have done all of this - fighting with my 4 siblings because I was the nurse and knew how to care for mother better, filed for guardianship and eventually she died in 2002. It is very difficult. If you can do all of these measures and still have a life of your own, then go for it. But, it will not be easy. My best wishes in whatever you decide.
I am in agreement with both of these women.
First and foremost you must be prepared mentally, physically,emotionally.
There must be a backup system in order for there to be normalcy in your own life.
Take action to be there for her as you are able. With care and guidance a professional attorney will advise you in this situation.
Yes there are competent home care provider who are prepared to work as private duty employees-and yes there are quite a few burned out ones in nursing homes as well as in private industry.
No the nursing care facility is not going to side with you. It is my opinion that they will go internal to protect there asset- the business.
Maybe to gather information and take steps that are well informed will serve everyone best.
Thank you so much for this valued advise.
In the past, Mom was peacefully taking care of her health issues with medicare paying 80% and blue cross (self pay) covered the remaining 20%. She had good traditional care until a new HMO type organization called Everyday Life (EL) was promoted to the low income residents where she resides. It was free, covered all her care incl meds, etc. Their claimed goal was to keep residents at home. Too good to be true - indeed! This upcoming guardianship hearing was requested by the lawyer of EL. Mom owes this "free" program money and they want her SS check and control of her life. This is why she was declared incompetent. For years she has had her annual series of back injections and knee shots to remove fluid and add some steriod which bring considerable relief. She is overdue for her appts and the MD is refusing to approve these helpful treatments. The pain pills do not reduce the cramping and the pain relieve is not sufficient. I would like to take her back to her traditional Medicare and BC coverage. They do not allow another MD to evaluate her and will not let me take her out. I just learned that this MD is the only MD writing orders for what may be thousands of patients in 2 or 3 day care centers. How can one MD who allowed Mom to be abused have full say in Mom's care. Mom has a loving family without financial interest. We cover all her necessary expenses and do not take anything from her. We do not have money for lawyers but I will call legal aide. I believe Mom will win this case for herself when the judge speaks with her and realizes she is not incompetent. Caretaking is indeed a huge amount of work but I can do it - have been for doing so for years. My husband helps and has medical exerience, We took care of his parents for several years also. How can I have this organization that may have bias support or alliance from the Dept of Aging reviewed? I am concerned with the power one person is given to rule over the helpless. Is there a MD to patient ratio? Thanks so much for allowing me to share. It helps to know that there is support in our ever improving world. I wish they would allow the use of cameras in the nursing homes.
i dunno. seems to me that where there is smoke there is fire. and the op sounds kinda paranoid

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