Mom hospitalized today - needs nursing home - I am 3,000 miles away.

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I told the agency that has been caring for my mom for years that I just do not want her to go back home. Her condition has declined in the past several weeks and I told them I need to put her in a nursing home straight from the hospital. Just need someone to talk to as I have no one to talk to about it and this has been difficult.


There should be a discharge planner or a social worker at the hospital that you can talk to to see where they recommend sending your mom. You can research the ratings of the nursing homes online at this government site:

Will you go visit mom once she's in a nursing home? You can check on the place once you visit.
I'm 600 miles from my elderly parents and it's tough keeping up with their issues, but I can make the drive a few times a year. 3000 miles is a whole different ballgame. Can you tell us a little more about your situation? Are you estranged from your Mom? Are you the sole caregiver?
M209M209, I am going through the same thing with my Mom.... but instead of a nursing home the hospital placed my Mom in a rehab center for awhile but I know her condition will never improve. We all go through something similar even if we are just around the corner or across county.... same worry, same guilt, same are we doing enough, etc.

Before your Mom is discharge, as Blannie had mentioned above, the hospital will call you with their suggestions. In many cases, the parent goes to the facility that has an open bed, thus no choices. But you can move Mom to where ever you like after the fact if there is a place you would prefer that eventually has an open bed.

If your Mom is on Medicare, Medicare will pay for one transport from the hospital to the nursing home. If you decide to change rehab/nursing homes, the transport cost is from Mom's own pocket.

Hope everything works out well, and it's a win-win for both you and your Mom.

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