Elderly Mom with NPH needs 24/7 assisted living.
My 76 yr old mother has been diagnosed with NPH. My brother who lives with her and I took care of her 24/7 for 6 mos before surgery. We hired a part-time nurse as he works crazy hours with grave yard shifts and and a different schedule each week. I would go down at 2 am to relieve him, stay evening when he was working. I have POA so I was responsible for all bills, banking, doctors and errands. I also have a husband, 3 children and had to take a 5 mo LOA from work which affected my family and our financial situation gravely. My mom has had a shunt and is now walking, her cognitive skills are back, but she still needs care. She refuses assisted living and is so worried about my brother having to become independent. I have to go back to work and resume my life as I have basically had absolutely no life. I herniated a cervical disk lifting her (I am 120 pounds soaking wet). I need surgery as the disk is pushing on my spinal cord and I have lost feeling in my right arm and am in severe pain. Back at work until surgery, but still running back and forth like a ham pater in a cage. I am exhausted. My mother is financially comfortable and a bit more. The problem??? She refuses to spend that money for her care. I understand her fears and I have done everything to keep her out of assisted living, keep her in her home, my brother employed and in the home. She says she feels terrible that she is doing this to her children, but again refuses to pay for full-time nurses and/or assisted living. Her home is 3 bdrm, 2 ba and a pool. Too much for her and until I was injured I was cleaning it, cooking, hired a lawn service to cut the grass and my husband had to take on becoming Mr. Mom at our home while running a business. I missed all my daughter's award ceremonies at school this year, doctor's appts, family gatherings and every event I needed to attend. I am lucky to have the husband I have to step up, but we know it has to stop. I need some of my life back as this is physically and emotionally killing me just to make their lives what they want. I know I have gone over, above and beyond for my mom and my brother, but the guilt overcomes me. My mom and my brother are going to have to sacrifice now. He is 41 and she needs to cut the cord and they both need to realize that I need to have some kind of life too.