I allowed my mother to move into my house after a leg amputation and she is ruining my life. Please help!!!
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My mother is 65 years old and about a year and a half ago she had an above the knee amputation, due to arterial disease, which her surgeon told her is the result of smoking heavily for 50 years. She went home to my ex-step father's house (yes, they were already divorced and she had moved back in). After 6 months of being unsuccessful with the prosthesis, he kicked her out, stating that if she wasn't going to learn how to use it, she wasn't staying there.
My mother and I have NEVER been close. She wasn't a very caring mother when I was young, and when my parents divorced at age 12, I lived with my father. She never babysat my child for me one time...she has been catering to my deadbeat brother for the last 8 years, even to the point that since he quit his last job in December, she refuses to buy any groceries, did not buy my son or myself Christmas gifts, gave her entire social security check to my brother and THEN had the nerve to ask me for money for cigarettes, WHICH SHE SMOKES IN MY HOUSE AND REFUSES TO O OUTSIDE because "it's too hard to get around".
I am 3 months pregnant now, and I just found out I have an ulcer. I am a nurse, trying to finish my bachelor's degree. I get about 4 hours of sleep a night because she stays up until 2 am with the TV turned all the way up, and then gets up every 2 hours with her walker (which is loud as hell on my hardwood floors) and every time she wakes up everyone in the house. My 13 year old son complains that he gets no sleep because of her and falls asleep on the couch every afternoon (she usually spends about 4 hours in the afternoon sleeping while everyone is awake). My entire house smells like cigarettes because she sits in her bedroom and smokes 4 packs a day. She refuses to go outside. She makes food and gets around fine when nobody is home, but whenever i am here she yells for me every time she needs a cup of coffee and complains about how hard it is for her to do anything. She gets mad at me because I won't clean her cats litter box because I am pregnant (I HATE CATS) and expects me to continue picking her up and lifting her into my SUV to take her places because she doesn't want to bother anyone else (but she does when she needs cigarettes, because she knows I won't buy them).
I realize now that I let her stay with me because I felt bad for her, but she is still taking advantage of my just as she always has (when I was with my exhusband she lived in my house and we paid all the bills while she supported my brother and his girlfriend, even letting them move in and practically destroy my house). My current boyfriend moved in with me 5 months ago, and he is fed up as well, because he works 55 hours a week at a professional job and never gets any sleep. I am fed up to the point that I think this stress is physically affecting me. I told her 3 months ago to move out, and she applied at one senior low income housing development (there are 14 in the city I live in, but she is only willing to go to that one). At her appointment the other day, they told her it was going to be at least 4 or 5 more months. I CAN"T DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE. I HATE COMING HOME AND BEING IN MY HOUSE. She is literally making every day of my life miserable, and I cant afford to pay for a regular apartment for her. If anyone knows of any other options to get her out of my house, PLEASE HELP. I am at my wits end.
BTW...my brother and his wife now live in a house owned by her parents where her parents pay all the bills, so he will not take my mother in, nor does he ever help do anything for her, and my step father will not let her move back in, so those are not options.