Mom is mad and pouting.

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Mom had heart surgery 2 years ago, replaced valve, corrected ascending aneurysm, and has COPD. She has been in and out of the hospital, and rehab centers for the past two years. I'm the only caregiver, work full time, but always make time for mom and her dog, I go shopping with her, accompany to doctor appointments, clean her house, cut her grass, plant her garden and flowers, but I enjoy helping her. Went on vacation this past week (first vacation in 9 years). My daughter came and stayed at my house to watch over my dogs and keep an eye on grandma. I got home Saturday evening, daughter went home the next day. Went to cut my mom's grass and take her grocery shopping and all she did was analyze my daughter and what she is doing wrong for over two hours. Finally had enough and said stop complaining. That was it, she sped away on the carts the store provides for handicapped. Now she is mad and pouting.


"oh, mom, I'm so sorry that daughter didn't care for you correctly; next time I have to leave for vacation, we'll find a nice nursing home that accepts respite care cases. I'm sure that professional care will be much better for you".
PS, my husband had that surgery 10 years ago. He is ever so grateful to be alive and gets up at 4 AM every day to go to work. So it's NOT the surgery.

Part of the protocol where my husband had his open heart surgery was being put on antidepressant meds. He's still on them, and has had an additional one added. Apparently, most folks who have open heart end up with depression.

Also, the anesthesia for that surgery is brutal and often uncovers undiagnosed dementia. Has she been evaluated for depression, dementia, etc? A good geriatric psychiatrist might be a good next step.
Klasho, how is mom doing?
Also, mom is very stubborn and when mad, she has a tongue as sharp as a blade.
Was she complaining about how your daughter cared for her or other things about your daughter? I know that I can also be critical when I see young people who are making poor choices, letting people take advantage of them, not living up to their potential, etc. The older we are, we may see things of concern and want our younger family members to avoid pain and trouble.

If the complaints were about her care, maybe, she was just venting. We all need to vent sometimes. Does she have any other outlet than you? My mom gets frustrated easily whenever I ask her a question. She's always been that way. I have no idea why. lol I just try not to ask her many questions?
It is a good thing mad and pouting isn't fatal, right?
Mad and pouting is one thing, but being hurtful is another. There is nothing I wouldn't do for my mother. She has no one else to vent to because she has cut herself off from the world. I have encouraged her to find some senior groups and the answer is no, I like my home.
If my mom ever complained or criticized my children that would be it. I don't care how old or soured or what - no one has the right to do that.
I'm not sure what she's hurtful or pouting about. Was it something about her care when you were gone or something else? To me that would make a difference. Grandchildren aren't perfect, if grandmother had a legitimate gripe, I'd take that into consideration. If not, that's different.

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