Mom is gone.

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My mother passed away on May 30th after collapsing at around 8am. She was at her asst. living and after the girls there assisted her with some eye drops she got up to go to her bedroom and collapsed. They said that right before that she seemed to be having an anxiety/panic attack which they thought was because her eye had been bothering her, then as she was walking away her head drew back quickly and she collapsed and stopped breathing.
Without going into details I can tell you all that the asst lvng place is great and I have no regrets about her care or any decisions I made. I saw mom very regularly and she had a great life. She was my dearest friend.
The only thing that is breaking my heart is that I think her "anxiety attack" was knowing that something was wrong and that she was scared and I wasn't there.
I can accept her dying, but one thing I can't handle is when someone is afraid and it is killing me thinking that she was so scared.
If any of you have any words that can help me through that thought, please offer them.
They said she had a massive heart attack (she had no previous heart issues and this was very unexpected). She was 88.
When I think about it, I figure that if she knew something was wrong, it was hopefully only for a very short time. And, I ask myself....would she have wanted me there to see them do CPR on her for 15-20 minutes? Probably not.
Never the heart is breaking.
Please forgive me for grieving here, but I have read postings here for the past year or so and can't tell you all how much I have appreciated your comments, stories and advice. I just need your cheer-ups now.
I'm sure I am not the first nor the last to be here with a broken heart.
Love to ALL of you from TX


So sorry that you've lost your Mother. Praying for your comfort and peace.
Hi Lisa Rose, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I know you will miss her every day. But here are some pieces of 'good news'. First you helped her live the highest quality of life right to the end. Those who have survived heart attacks have said 'they just didn't feel themselves'. Perhaps that is what your Mom was experiencing. It's unlikely you could have helped your Mom and with everyone else trying to help, you may have been set aside anyway. Try to focus on the happy times you had rather than her passing. She may have been gone before they started CPR . God Bless her and you. You now have another angel watching over you. Sending good thoughts your way.
Send her your thoughts and prayers now. If the soul is real, she will hear you. If it isn't, she is past suffering and you lay her gently to rest in your memory.

I understand your anguish that you weren't there to comfort her; but if she knows anything she knows that you wanted to be. Nothing I can say will make the pain less sharp just yet. Let time pass; it will ease.
a massive heart attack .. when you think about it thats the BEST one could hope for . i mean that in a positive way . id like the same for myself as opposed to anything else i can think of -- liver cancer comes to mind ..
dwell on the laughs you had with mom , forget the rough moments .
my mom died last aug 1 . im only now starting to put the grief behind me ..
she loved me , everyone else would like to shiv me in the throat..
My condolences to you and your family. In the end, we just want to know/feel we did the best for our loved one. Im sure your mom knew you'd done all you could. (((hugs))))
LisaRose, I am so sorry for your loss, your in my thoughts. Hugs to you
You can still talk to her and you will hear the answer. You have a wealth of memories that no one can take away from you, ever.
Lisa, I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a mother leaves a huge hole in your heart, but you gave her the best quality of life. Be comforted in your good memories.
LisaRose - I'm so sorry for your loss...but please don't apologize for coming here to grieve. We will all be (or have been) at that point in our lives, and this forum is the perfect place to let your feelings out. You are among friends here.
LisaRose. My dad died before xmas a massive heart attack it was all very quick and im so glad he didnt suffer. I dont care what anyone thinks of me but strange things happened to me before and after he died.
I feel him around me and know he is helping me when im down something will appear like a card i wrote to him years ago when i was a child OR his photo just turns up. I dont know if anyone else has experienced this but i didnt believe it until it happened to me.
I never said goodbye to dad and that hurts BUT i dont think there are any goodbyes i truly believe we will meet up again and thats what keeps me going im not overly religious but i cannot explain the things that happened to me and my family all i know is he is with me and comforting me!
This is a hard time for anyone just know that you were ALWAYS there for her and loved her and now shes with you! X

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