Mom is brow-beating me.
My sister has invited the family to a barbecue on Memorial Day. To make a long story short, I don't want to attend, so I said I was going to a friend's house. When Mom brought it up to me at dinner later that day, she got really angry, at me AND my friend!! She said the friend (whom she doesn't know) should have invited her as well since I "take care of her" (my mother). I was flabbergasted. I said I had made other plans before my sister emailed, which I had a perfect right to do. She continued to have pretty much a tantrum -- in a restaurant! She said maybe we "shouldn't see each other anymore!" She said that as the closed child to her home, I "had" to take care of her. I live nearby to the townhome where my mother lives independently. As she no longer drives, and won't pay an outsider helper, I am left to do all the driving plus many of the chores. The sister who invited us lives about 20 minutes away and has not been out to see or help mom in 2 months. She used to pay Mom's bills, but because her daughter is having psychiatric problems, she can't come out. But she continues to play tennis with her team and go about all her other activities. She also has a husband and I am a widow (as is Mom). I feel like crap today after my mother basically berated me -- the daughter who does the most for her. Am I the classic doormat and how do I get up off the floor and still help her. I am tired of the verbal abuse and the guilt trip. I think my Dad would be very proud of the job I am doing. I feel like I'm my mother's husband!!