Mum in total denial about her dementia?



I just dont know how to handle my mum right now. She was told by geriatrician 2wkS ago she had vascular dementia. Now I know alot of people just go into denial but I just dont know what to do now surely her doc should talk to her what happens now?
I told her i met a neighbour his dad has als and my mum knows this,she asked about him and I said he was in a home., She said god love him id rather die if I had anything like that?
How has anyone her dealt with this shoud I talk to her doc and get him to tell her exactly whats wrong with her or leave it?
Finding this very hard right now she keeps asking me what the "aricept" is for??

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.


Thanks for the advice i have been telling her that the aricept is to improve her memory and she accepts this? It breaks your heart when she comments on something she sees or hears about als or dementia she really is in denial. this wkend is going to be tough as siblings always make my blood boil,they will never understand how much hard work she is then flit off back to their normal lives. I will be making it very clear that my health and future is just as important and either mum moves with me OR she has no choice but go into a NH shes already BANNED from using cooker i cant control that if im not here? So her living alone is NOT and option.
On a positive all the stress of siblings coming ive lost 6lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is more common than not for a person with dementia to think there is nothing wrong with them. Most people deny anything is wrong besides "a little forgetfulness." This denial is a fact that you need to accept, because it won't change.

My daughter - 22 - is still trying to get daddy to admit that he doesn't know what he's talking about because he has memory problems. She tries to explain it very kindly, and doesn't yet understand that it's a losing strategy. It only makes him angry.

Kazzaa, if your mother does not accept the vascular dementia diagnosis I don't you or a doctor will be able to talk her into accepting it. Tell her the aricept is a new kind of vitamin or give her any other explanation she is likely to accept.

As family comes to discuss Mum's future, just be sure that you retain control of your own future. Family can't decide that she should continue to live with you unless is it your decision to have her live with you.

Thanks guys. I have no idea what "stage" my mum is at? just getting battier by the week although memory is ok she hasnt forgotten yesterday or anything just creating a huge mess everywhere and obsessing about stuff that needs to be done? Spending money on things we dont need and she cant afford? Family coming this weekend to discuss her future? yeh right theyll arrive but will anything be discussed? everyday is a struggle trying to control someone who dosnt want to be contolled? trying to stay saine when dealing with insanity wondering am I going to go insane doing this? House a mess she has boxes of crap everywhere i just go around like a robot feel like ive been programmed get up,clean,make dinner,shop,cook,clean,sleep get up clean....................hanging on with my finger nails! My mum was stubborn before but this is bad!

Hi, kazzaa; sorry you are going through such a rough time with your mom. I don't think having your mom's doctor explain anything will work, because she'll probably forget what s/he said before you get home again. My mom can forget she even was at the doctors before she gets home.
I know you've been on this site longer than I have, so you probably have already done the things I'm doing now, as far as planning for the future. Bless you for being there for your mom. She's lucky to have you (especially if I remember correctly, she's quite a challenge).

very few people with mental illness acknowlege the diagnosis. rationale eludes them. theres no point in convincing her of the dx. you might tell her her brain isnt getting enough o2 so as to explain away her confusion and quirks. thats more a medical discrepancy and beats the hell out of telling someone theyre crazy.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.