Mom is so hateful, mean and unappreciative towards her children and grandchildren. This makes us not want to be around her.

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We lost my step dad of 37 yrs last on Sept 12th, 2012. Mom had a stoke on March 29th and was in hospital and rehab for 1 month until they sent her home for being so demanding and outspoken and unappreciative. She lives at home and has some paralysis to her left hand. She has always been hateful and hurtful to us and put everyone down except herself. Now that she is alone she wants to blame myself and my brother and our children for her misery. She hated my step father's very presence and demeaned him constantly, taking for granted how much help he was around the house. Now that he has passed away (rather quickly after a 63 day battle with lung cancer), she is even more unappreciative and demanding and mean with her words. She expects me or my brother to be at her beckon call 24/7 and give up all enjoyment we have in life with our families to come sit on her couch and cower over her. I am sick of her complaining and belittlement and constant hanging up on me when I don't say what she wants to hear. I am expected to give up everything that means anything to me and come wait on her hand and foot. I had caregivers and nursing staff coming in 3 days a week but she ran them off because they "interfered" with her lifestyle which is eating, laying on the couch in front of the tv, or sleeping. I gave up my full time job and went part time to care for her, have given up most of my free time to be there and do for her at home and I get up at 3:30am to go to work then come to her house and do for her all day then back to home to sleep and do it all over again. I can't take this anymore. She is so hateful and hurtful and unappreciative to me especially but also my brother, our children and anyone who who offers or tries to help her. I am to the point that I don't care what she does or how, when, where or with whom or by herself. Enough hurt for me!!!!!!!


Okay. Breathe. I understand you are hurt and angry. You need to stand up to your Mom and tell her that her behavior is unacceptable and that you will not tolerate her bitterness anymore. Draw the line. Every time she gets hostile or cranky, remind her that is unacceptable and then walk away.

May God give you wisdom and strength to take a stand and speak truth to her, and may she have the ears to hear.

Remember, we teach people how to treat us.
Good advice, loveispatient. It sounds very hard kaa0628. And not fair. I cannot think of a better solution for you than what loveispatient has offered. Set up those boundaries and stick to them!! Good luck!!
She sounds a whole lot like my own mother. You probably won't, but of course you know you need to tell this bytch "No more from me."

Please, do NOT subject yourself and especially your children to more of this treatment!

Question: How did SHE care for her own parents? Her husband's parents? Her grandparents?

Uh - huh. Thought so.

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