My Mom has dementia.

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She is very quiet and her eyes change to this glazed look as if she is somewhere else. She doesnt speak much. This illness upsets me so much.


Dementia is a very upsetting illness, I agree.

When your mom's eyes glaze over and she looks like she's somewhere else, that's because she is somewhere else. Somewhere you can't get to. It's very frustrating and heartbreaking.

But you're in good company here. There is so much support and experience on this site. I hope you avail yourself of everything this site has to offer. Come back often and write more, vent, ask questions, whatever you need. The more detailed your comments and questions the more detailed the responses will be.

Does your mom live with you? Are you her primary caregiver?
Thanks for answering me. The question is is she hearing me, is she understanding me? My mom is living in an old aged home but I go and see her everyday. Does she know what's happening to her?
It's difficult to say what is going on in the mind of someone with dementia. Even if they do know, do they remember it? From my experience with my loved one, I try not to focus on what they may understand or remember. I just try to give a general attitude of kindness and compassion. It can't hurt and it makes me feel better.

Sometimes my loved one, (my cousin) and I have conversations that sound pretty normal, but they aren't. My cousin will forget what was said 5 minutes later. She tells me many times that she knows how much I do for her and that she is very appreciative, but I'm not sure she really understands or recalls what she says.

I have noticed a couple of residents at the assisted living facility where my cousin lives who never say one word. I wonder how they are doing. I think there are certain types of dementia that fit that description. What if you do something with her that does not require words? Such as rubbing lotion on her hands, combing her hair, painting her nails? Do you think she would allow that?

You might also see if she would like to listen to music together. I gave my cousin a small radio and she listens to music with the earphones. (At least she used to. She's now stopped doing much at all.)

You might also check her medications and see if they could be causing her to act that way. Perhaps it could be adjusted. Does she have any medical conditions besides the dementia? It wouldn't hurt to check. I wish you both the best. Going to visit everyday can be very draining. Your mom may wish you were taking time for yourself.
my aunt and i just sit and play with her small purse full of junk change now . theres nothing profound or meaningful about it ,its just tenderness and togetherness . i found a beautiful pic of a field of flowers online , had a 5x7 made at walgreens and put it in a goodwill pic frame for her . its a nasty disease but in ways the patient lives in an uncomplicated world . keep it simple with them if you want to be welcomed in their world .
My mom takes medicines for high blood pressure, sugar diabetes, she has a half paralysed bladder and she is taking meds for the dementia to hopefully slow it down. She does talk but not much.
I was told that my dad had dementia, but he was still handling his affairs (keeping track of appointments, and managing the house) and finances (paid his own bills, and wrote all of his checks). Can the doctor be wrong about dementia? When I explained everything my father did, he said that he found it hard to believe.

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