Mom has 9 lives and the roller coaster is killing me.

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I've been caring for my mom in my home for 4 1/2 years. She has alzheimer's and was diagnosed with lung cancer 5 months ago. She has been on the brink of death a number of times and always seems to bounce back. Although I have lots of support with hospice and friends and family, this back and forth emotional roller coaster is too much. When she is doing poorly, I feel like I can muster up and keep going because I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I gear up for the end, but then she has miracle style comebacks. The stress is causing me medical concerns of my own. I don't even know what my question is...needed to vent this morning. Anybody experience this??


How long as she been on Hospice? Can her doctor give you any indication of how she's doing?

It sounds like you have really devoted yourself to her. I haven't been in your exact situation, but I do know how much of a roller coaster ride it can be. It's so stressful. I've cracked at least one tooth from the stress. I'm not sure how to relieve it. I'm going to see my doctor and may start some meds or meditation sessions. It's not healthy for us to stay so tense and worried.

Do you have anywhere that you can go to get away and relax for a week? You sure do need some respite care. Perhaps other on this board can get you more details on how to arrange for respite care. God bless and I wish you and your mom peace.
Lily, I have been on the same roller coaster for seven years. Five of those years, mother lived with us going from crisis to crisis. The last three, she has been in assisted living. That move, saved my sanity. Mom will be 97 in a month, and I just do not have the strength or mental capacity to take care of her 24/7. She wants to come home, but I just cannot do it anymore. She does not realize that I am 67! To her, I am her little girl. When you throw in dementia, it adds a little more challenges to the mix.

To answer your question, you are not alone in feeling the way you do. I have just given up on trying to anticipate and plan on Mom living to 100. She beat Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and C-Diff.
The roller coaster is frustrating. My mother starts going downhill and I think maybe she has a few more months. Then she improves and I think maybe she has a few more years. Both worry me. I don't want her to die, but I don't want to be here for a few more years. I wish someone would stamp an expiration date on people so we would know how to make plans.
Ditto. The emotional roller coaster is frustrating, depressing and emotionally draining. My Mom is 96 + and has lived with my husband and me for 35 + years. She has been going downhill and over the hill several times only to pull back and seem like she'll keep going for years. Have hit the wall. She's going downhill again now so with the next "event" we (my husband and I) will have to place her in a NH. Can't do it anymore, just plain give out. Just realize that you are not alone.
WOW! Thought my dad was the only person in the world with 90 lives. This man has survived being hit by a speeding car & thrown 25 feet, all organs shutdown, kidney cancer, colon cancer, bed sore to his spine with MRSA, leg amputation, gaine green septic. I could go on and on. But I'm the only caregiver we lost medicaid because of an investigation on spend down qualifications after having it for 11years now he was resently cut off his prescription coverage because we didn't know he had a premium because in trying to help him his social working changed his medicare program but failed to tell us his part D had a premium. So trust me I feel your pain. We need to have these people researched they remarkably defy all oods of death. Perhaps a talk show visit is needed. Im in.

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