Well... Mom got kicked out of her nursing home. I'm in need of advice and comfort.

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Mom has dementia and has declined a lot. She is verbally and physically abusive. She was in a nice nursing home, had her placed in, then she had behaviors, they sent her to geropsych, now the nursing home will not accept her back and she is going to one of the worst nursing homes in town ...it’s far from my house and I’m scared for her ...I’m in need of advice and comfort because I’m scared for her.


Are her behaviors under control via meds now?

Is the original NH not accepting her due to behaviors or because they have no beds?
They said behaviors
She seems much better and they didn’t even give her a chance to try again the nursing home she was in was wonderful and now she’s off to the worst one far away from me ..oh ,my heart is broken
I'm sorry, I wish I had some advice to help you. (((hugs)))
ohmeowzer - I’m sorry for what you’re having to go through- your mom, too.

My mom was a handful but she never got violent. My mom had been 86’d from AL because she fell twice in the first ten days. Since mom was aware of that - when she was placed in a NH she was pretending to “fall” a couple of times a day. She blew it when one day - not knowing how long it was going to take for them to discover her - she took a pillow and blanket with her on her “fall”.

Taking my mom to a geriatric psychiatrist fixed the problem- along with a few others. How long have they been working with your mothers medications to get her behavior under control?

If you don’t mind me asking - when you say the new nh is one of the worst - in what way?
This happened to my Dad. He spent a month in geripsych and the anger and violent behavior stopped. We also had only one place that would take him- but after a month of good behavior we then re-applied to better facilities. Start asking now if other facilities will take her after a month of good behavior. Sorry you are going through this- it is so devastating to not have a decent place that will take her. My heart too was broken - but we had no other options. Hang in there.. ❤️🙏
I was going through similar with my mom but it helped once the meds were increased...was your mom in a special dementia unit at nursing home when this happened because that staff is usually specialized in this area of patients
My mom, was too, kicked out. She was on hospice at the time. Her behaviors were terrible, hitting, kicking, biting, you name it. She was a danger to herself and others. Hospice recommended a smaller care home, very homey, excellent care, special training of caregivers to deal with the behaviors. EVERYONE there had been kicked out of their previous facilities. And it seemed to operate so well, with content residents most of the time.
I am so sorry for you pain. This sounds very similar to the situation I recently went through with my mom. She too was admitted to a geriatric psych for 10 days and had improved. I met with her Dr who told me that they were planning to discharge her in 2 days. I received a call from her previous nursing home who said they couldn't take her back. ( first time I heard of this) I ended up driving around that weekend and found a decent place for her 30 miles away who was willing to take her. I made a complaint to our state Dept of Health. They investigated the situation and they said they didn't see a problem with her nursing home's decision. I could prove it be I am guessing some of the medication (Xanax....which they were putting her on...and I said I wasn't happy with contributed to her angry behavior )
My suggestion is don't give up. Find another place for your mother. That would be the first thing. Your mom's care and safety is the most important thing. The suggestion of trying to get her back to the previous facility is also another option. I would try to see if they would be willing but I am guessing it is a long shot. There seems to be a long standing practice of once a resident has left the facility that gives that facility the opportunity not to allow them back even if things have improved with your mother.
I wish I could provide you more words of comfort. I would also try and contact your local Office on Aging as see if they can give you some suggestions. I am very sorry you have to go through this. Please don't give up.
I'm sorry ohmeowzer. This is the same story of mine that brought me here to this group. My mom broke her pelvis and had mild dementia. Then hospital to skilled nursing 2 blocks away from home. She fell 6 times in 9 days. Off to the geriatric psych. Hospital. Then she had to go to the far away n.h. not in our town It was an old building and seemed awful too. But you know, the nurses there had been working for years there. They had less staff but had more knowledge. She is home now. They said not to worry because after a short time, if the patients behaviors are under control, they will have the bad behavior marker knocked off the record. Then you should be able to be accepted anywhere. Especially if everything is under control with meds. This is what the psych. Hospital told me too. Keep talking to old n.h. good luck!

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