Mom (who lives me while waiting on her senior apartment to become available) expects me to do her paperwork 24//7.

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Mom..who lives me while waiting on her senior apartment to become available...expects me to do her paperwork 24//7. Shes mad because I said Not's my day off....yet she kept chasing me with it..her check account doesn't match...I suggested its one check that didn't get deducted...we will look at Monday...she stomped off pouting...I need to set limits..this trying to make me feel guilty is getting tiresome....hubby and I took off today by ourselves....I know she's not happy...I refuse to carry this burden of guilt she tries to place on me....and yet it feels mean...and she pouts when I say


SheriJean, after reading other postings from others, not be harsh but dealing with a checking account is so minor in comparison. How long would it have taken to see what was the problem with the balancing of the checkbook. Don't forget, as we age doing math become cumbersome, and our memories aren't the best. It becomes frustrating for your Mom, thus it becomes frustrating for you, too.

Do you have your Mom's checking account on-line so that you can pull up her current checking statuses? If not, do so. I was never crazy about on-line banking, but since I had all of my parents financial stuff dumped into my lap, it is an easy look at what is happening with those accounts :)
I agree with the online statements! My mother is obsessed with when her deposits go in,, uh,,, like the same days every month,, and for the same amounts... No the SS does not go in on the 1st. more like the 3rd or 4th.. I usually add them in whenever she wants them to go in,,,LOL. And lets not forget to deduct the cc when the bill comes ( not the date they say it will come out... SMH) But I truely wish this was my biggest issue! Don;t let it get you down. Maybe it would be easier to take 5 minutes to fix.. but I also understand that you just want a day off once in awhile if you never get a break. But a happy mom must be better than the guilt you are feeling?
I guess I wanted to say...if its not the's something else...I have spent every day for the last 3 court houses...applying for her apartment..producing documents upon documents..transferring mobile home titles..canceling drivers licence..applying for adjustments in her SS after my step dads death..then there have been 5 doctors out her mobile home...doing all her all her meals..if I don't set limits..I'm going to lose it! She's followed me into the bathroom...bedroom...I'm burned out..if I would have balanced her checkbook...which would have taken more than a few minutes...more papers would have come out...and no boundaries
Plus she is argumentative...and mean...
Then there's taking things she can't fit into her apartment to the auctioneer..packing the things she wants...which I know wouldn't fit into her tiny guess asking for a day off is selfish
Nope, not at all . Thank you for giving more info and the bigger picture. When I thought it was just the checkbook.. but now... I truely hope you enjoyed time with your hubs!
If it's,not one thing, it's your mother!
So the saying goes.
I'm just melting down....I see I'm going to need some counseling if I'm going to survive deceased dad told me mom was mentally ill..and had two personalities...I never believed or understood this....I do now...I'm thrust back into my dysfunctional scares and alarms me....yet I want to do the right thing...and help her..but it ain't easy
Today..I felt hope...took mom to see the senior apartment complex we filled out an application for. Her friends daughter resides there and graciously opened up her home to we could visualize how much space she will have. It's a beautiful place..and small! Which is great! Mom even admitted she will hire her friends housekeeper to help out! She had 2 or 3 people ahead of her...I know this will be perfect for be with her peers! And love the suggestion to do online banking for her...all utilities are included in the there will only be a phone and cable bill..which I'm hoping came be an automatic son says he will show me how to do this online...I feel some weight shifting off me...thank God...last night I was sinking into despair...prayers are answered
Sheri, it sounds like there is some light at the end there, but don't back out of going to therapy. You've got a long caregiving road ahead of you. It sounds like your dad shielded you from the worst of her craziness, but you have to learn how to set real boundaries.

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