Mom doesn't want me to have respite.
Mom and I have always been VERY close, I am her only child, she had 4 miscarriages after me so she clings to me. Dad died in 1980. She has the usuaI senior aches and pains (arthiritus, vision, hearing), uses a walker to walk but her mind is fairly sharp, altho she is starting to ask the same questions over and over and gets confused occasionally, she is 87yo.I have been her care giver for over 3 years and havent had any more than a few hours by myself.
I finally have a chance to have respite, I mentioned this to mom to give her time to adjust to the idea, now she is pouting and acting mad at me, making me feel guilty for suggesting respite. Respite will only be a few hours once a week, I was planning to leave after breakfast and her a.m. meds (10a.m.) and be home in time for dinner (5-6pm). I feel she is being selfish by not giving me time for myself but she gets her feelings hurt very easily so i dont want to tell her how I feel. I really dont mind caring for her but 24/7/365 is too much!! Occasionally I get perturbed with her and speak harshly and regret it later. I try to talk to her as if it might be the last words I say to her but its getting more and more difficult. I drove a otr truck for 20 yrs and only came home once or twice a month for a couple days so I have no friends locally, all my friends are truck drivers and not living nearby. The closest relatives are 1,000 miles away and we're not very close anyway. I'd appreciate suggestions on how to get mom to accept me being a way a few hours a week. She has me feeling guilty so I wouldnt enjoy myself on respite anyway. Thanks for giving me an opportunity to vent.----Mike