When Mother moved in, in November '09, she just started taking to her bad, and now almost never leaves it. She has arthritis and some breathing issues, but is in reasonably good shape. All the same, she's bored but rejects most of my ideas. She does not care for people her own age, or making crafts, or joining a group of any size, or going to church. She has only one or two friends, who are often busy. She always loved to fuss over her own house and doesn't understand why I don't (which is another issue), but isn't in shape to get up and do anything.
In truth Mother isn't in shape to do much of anything, I get her her food, empty her toilet, help her find her glasses. I try not to go out because it's not fair to Mother just to leave her at home, but she seldom wants to get out much anymore, except to go shopping. That's the only thing that seems to give her pleasure, buying pretty things. She'd been considerably more wealthy in her youth and always enjoyed buying things for my father, us children, and herself; our house is cluttered with lots of little pretty things. Now her money is long gone, and her Social Security usually spent by the first week on jewelry or pillows or dog treats or overtipping the hairdresser.
I offer to take her on errands with me, but Mother's not interested in the grocery store or the hardware store, or even just going down to the park. (It is hard for her to walk). Riding around makes her tired. Everything else is too far for her. If it's not shopping, or eating out she's not interested. At the same time I ask, and wait, to see what Mother would like to do, take her out for breakfast, or get a little gift for a friend, or check out some sale, and more often than not she just lets it go, sleeping most of the day, then saying she's bored. She does watch TV or read, but it's still not the same.
I've given up asking her to come to church, or join my discussion group--she HATES groups. At the same time I've let my own friendships dwindle because it's not fair to Mother my just going off without her, especially in things she's not interested in. So I try to stay home, and we both get cabin fever.
There's more to it, but I'm tired of hearing myself complain. Anyone have a parent like that, they don't want to do anything, but don't want you to go off either?