Medical decision-maker POA was revoked!
I took care of my father in hospital for three months with failing lungs and heart (advanced silicosis). My mother (also ill) never treated him properly and when he was half dead they removed them both from their home (house was a mess -uring feeces, bugs, rodents -and this was a nice house. I cleaned the whole house and so she was able to return. Dad stayed in hospital but after doing everything for him in hospital right down to toe nail clipping, psw work, his laundry and fixing him up , raising him like Lazarus from the dead, the medical team revoked my medical decision maker and handed him back to my twice Form one-ed mother who treated him like a slave and absolutely like garbage. I made him better, i hand feed him pieces of food when he wasn't eating for days on end. I was originally told that i basically had "custody of him". Note this is the third time my mother has left my father to rot and he has ended up in hospital. He has early dementia and thus failed the capacity test. He wants to back to her and now that he is fixed up (well with 3-6 months to live), she wants him back (married 63 years with separate bedrooms etc. She heckles me as I helped her (this became too stresful and so I had to stope). I really did not mind taking care of dad in hospital. My husbnad and son , we all went to the hospital for pizza family dinners and dad seemed content. I was there daily looking after hi. The hospital's agenda in SAMU at Victoria hospital in London, Ontario was to get him out of hospital and wither into LTC or to my house and I opted for LTC because of his incontinence and frality with his lungs (oxygen monitoring, heart pills etc. The hospital went with my mother's decision to take him home where undoubtedly she will not have help in (as she did not let the CCAC in for herself) and my father will die and even earlier death. I cannot go into this house of theirs with her heckling me adn teasing me for looking after my father. I cannot handle her care as she gloats over it as I am bent over and cleaning the floor under her feet as she cackles with delight at being my "master" at last. it is just a "sick, sick, sick psychological situation" adn I can't do it so I walked away. I said goodbye to my father in hospital and reminded him of where I live. I have blocked my mothers number. I am just going to be thankful that I actually had some time w dad (my mother had estranged us for years on end) and we said our goodbyes. I even looked at sympathy cards to send myself to just make myself get over him. I know that this is messed up but I have an immediate family with a young 11 year old and another child in university. This is too much for my family and I will just burn out in all aspects mentally and physically causing my children and husband/marriage to suffer. Am I a horrible person?