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By the time i have a day off I'm so tired that I'm not interested in expressing my creativity. Maybe it's artist's block. I feel frustrated with myself all the time that i cant make myself draw. I would be so happy if i could. Maybe I'm just so distracted with mom's health even though she has another caregiver.

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Caregiving certainly makes the muse go into hiding. I sell art glass online, so have to take pictures and do listings. I also have to go treasure hunting, which is normally a treat. Now the luster has worn off and I have to make myself do pictures and write the words. Personal matters here have sapped so much of my emotional energy.

I found something that helped the other day. I decided I wanted to hear Led Zeppelins "Going to California." Something about the song brought the muse out of hiding. It probably wouldn't work every time, but maybe I can find just the right song to find my muse. Music is wonderful that way.
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Thanks rrdancer. Your perspective really touched me! Thank you for sharing your heart with me. When she goes home i will have zero regrets and the gift of time spent together will carry me through.

Whatever your situation, i pray that you experience peace and joy in your relationship with your loved one.

I am reminded of the phrase 'you never know what you had until it is gone. So true.

Blessings and hugs!


Sarah
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Saw your post and so related. Wonder if your art may be impacted in surprisingly positive ways by the experience you are having in this season. All of creative expressions do come from our hearts and you are in a time when your heart is being stretched and taken to new places. I have found that when i am ready to quit and give up hope, my heart seems to find its way to a quiet place and there i come away with what is needed to go on. Then i find my inner voice saying, "I am so honored that I can do this and thankful that I can give what I have to give." Yes, I fear losing what i once found great delight in doing. But passion is so much more than pleasure or enjoyment. I am learning that passion has a great deal to do with suffering - that there is a proportional aspect between suffering and joy. Perhaps the heights of our joy are directly proportional to the depths of our willingness to enter into the suffering part of life. Walking through the last chapter of life with those we love is painful and difficult in so many ways. And yet, the little moments of being close are priceless treasures and who knows what joy may be ours in the days to come.........
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I found out that drawing is a great distraction from any stress and I am getting much better at it. I am going to check that out too. Music and candles calm me down too, and Mom.
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Smitty, I also forgot to mention that there are articles on the sight just for caregivers!!!! How cool is that!!
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Ladee, I'm going to look that up. Thanks for mentioning it. Cat
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Smitty: I know what your talking about..Im not an artist but I can relate to getting distracted & losing focus on my life because I'm so preoccupied w/ my moms health. Thx for posting.
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Oh, meant to ask, what type art and drawing do you do???
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No, I just improvised with art paper and fine line Sharpies.... but it is so much fun, very relaxing, you'll be amazed at how much you relax.... so happy you checked it out, you will find your muse again in the lines in Zentangle..... happy drawing.... let me know how you like it.. hugs to you!!!!
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Thank you! I looked at the website and am leaning toward buying a kit. Did you buy one?
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Smitty, I too am an artist, primarly work with clay.... but something I do when I can't seem to get my mind going or my hands just set there, is a doodling type drawing called Zentangles.... there is a sight for it, look it up.... it is one of the most soothing things to do. just let your mind and hand go.... make up your own or there are many patterns to follow... I make up my own, tho I have a file full of the designs... I use the designs for other things... and I have found once I get relaxed, it just takes you to a 'zone', then my creativity is back and with new ideas...... hope you try it.... it is fun, relaxing, can be done anywhere, let me know if you try it and what you thought...hugs to you...
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Thank you Cattails. I want to make it fun, not a chore. I'm thankful for this website and for the ability to support you and other people here. I give you alot of credit for caregiving 24/7. It makes sense that it takes every ounce of energy to be a caregiver. Let's pat ourselves on the back!
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Hi Smitty: I'm not an artist, but I use to read all the time. I found when I was caring for my dad 24/7 I could no longer get interested in reading. I just couldn't focus enough or something. I think my mind was just not wanting to take much else in. I found I got more relieve from physical exercise, like walking.

Don't beat yourself up over it. You don't want to make something you love a burden. Give yourself some time. Sending you hugs, Cattails.
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