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About 3 years ago this subject was posted on the forum by another writer, and I though I bring back this issue, and start with a clean slate.

For me, I though I was losing brain cells while helping out my very elderly parents who decided that living by themselves, while being in their 90's, was the best thing ever.... NOT. All the sleepless nights I had.... the panic when I saw their caller ID on the phone.... Mom shooing out caregivers.... and driving by my parent's house [lived in same neighborhood] and seeing Dad up on a ladder cleaning the gutters.... YIKES !!

Since my parents hadn't passed that long ago, my brain hasn't recovered. I know this is just probably age related forgetfulness being I am now 70. I had dove into every article and book about dementia, and overloaded myself with info so I could react to my parents should they had gottten dementia. So now the tiniest thing when I can't think of something, I think oh great, I never got to enjoy my retirement, now THIS???

Anyone else going through this?

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I haven’t been this involved in caretaking for very long but I’ve noticed that after spending extended time with my parents I can’t seem to patch a simple coherent thought together for a few days after escape to my home. But I am emotionally drained and physically exhausted so that’s two big factors.
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...junkyard dog!
Still smiling at that!
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((((((Windy))))) Well, we know one thing - they have lost brain cells. Seriously, you should write a book. I was going to go back to sleep this morning, as is my custom when I wake at 4 am, then I read your post and have been grinning like a fool ever since. What a ride!!! Your dad is having adventures. Glad they caught the UTI. Can you imagine how your mum, just post a fall, would have dealt with that? Mother's NH has a "happy hour" every day, I believe. Seems to be a new thing. No cheese and only one drink allowed. One day I might have it.
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Thanks Golden and Stacey. Prison report:

Dad went crazy town on staff Saturday morning. Going to find his car, hitting and kicking. Off to phys eval in the ems bus. Hospital found raging UTI and started meds. Warden reports that things are back under control but I’m afraid he’s destined for the memory care unit pretty soon. It’s in the same facility.

My nephew was visiting the folks yesterday and called me on his iPhone so I could say hi to folks. Mom very curt and frosty with me. Ok, fine. My giveadamn is turned waaay down low. 

Dad thought he was in a ski resort. Said the prices in the restaurant were outrageous. Bunch a ol boys stole all the cars in the parking lot and wrecked Em all down in the holler. (Hillbilly term for valley)
Clearly delusional but seemed calm so fine, we’ll go with ski resort.

Did I mention this prison has a cocktail hour? Oh yeah. Each Friday apparently. The inmates are rounded up to the activities room for wine and cheese before dinner. Mom didn’t like the white stuff but the pinkish stuff was pretty good!? These guys bought a bottle of cheap champagne once in 1974 I think.

Such is life in the joint.
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LOL!!! Thanks for all the laughs this Christmas morning!! Felt my brain cells get stimulated some!!
"meaner than a junkyard dog", LOVE IT!! I'm the same way...miss the old me.

Looking for more laughs today ❤️
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Brain? What's a brain again? I forgot.
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I Lost my Brain in the final year of caring for my FIL, he passed away in September this year, and it's still not completely back. I find I cannot grasp words in a sentence, or remember names, it's so frustrating!!! Even my husband notices, and he is faithfully there, retrieving those words from out of the air, sparing me the embarrassment, kind of! Thank God he knows me so well! Though even he is concerned!

I'm glad that the days of every conversation revolving around my FIL are behind us, but it is taking a long time to find our new normal! Hopefully my brain will return eventually!!! Good luck to you all in the same boat!

Windyridge, so incredibly happy that you have gotten your folks into Assisted Living! I really hope this works out for you, and that you find your parental workload lessened!!! Merry Christmas Buddy!!!!
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Bella, Y e a h ! Absolutely know. Good question posed. 
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bella - so so glad dad is back in AL Yay!!!!!!

cdn reader -Oh yeah!!! I walked around the house the other day looking for the handset for the living room phone while talking to my dd on it.

CTTN55 - I really wonder about that too. When I told a grandson that you could play solitaire with REAL cards, he was amazed and thought that was COOL!

windy - you deserve a medal. It's prison now is it? I guess you should have left her bleeding on the floor. It would have stopped eventually! How horrible of you to get them regular meals, a safe environment, medical care, social activities... and also deal with all their business too. Mother wouldn't speak to me for well over 6 months after I precipitated getting her into a geri psych hospital where she got the help she needed. It was a relief.

ff - LOL let us know if it helps~
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Ok spinach here I come... out of the way, Popeye !!
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After 5 years of my parents nutso stuff I have hardly any brain cells left but I’m meaner than a junkyard dog. Getting the folks in care (Prision, according to mom) last week, I left a trail of bodies, clerk at the drug store, salesman at mattress warehouse, poor innocent nurse at AL, in my wake.

No brains left but crazy/desperate/over the edge maneuvers still seem effective. Got the bed, pills, and paperwork from AL on time.
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Bella7, so glad your father is back in AL!

Sunnygirl1, I think you have a really good point about the Millenials and their forgetfulness/reliance on their smartphones, etc. We are the "bridge" generation, because we remember life before smartphones/Internet. We remember making our own amusements, spending a lot of time outdoors, READING books, etc. I think all of this technology is hurting our cognition in ways they haven't even discovered yet.
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Dear freqflyer,

Thank you for posting this. Please be kind to yourself. You are an amazing person for caring for your parents into their 90s. I think it does take time for our minds and bodies to come to terms with our grief and many years of caregiving.

Since my dad passed, I feel that way too. I lost my glasses, my hat, my keys. I make multiple trips to the store. I go for one thing and I can't even remember to buy that one item!

Keep focusing on self care. :-) And thank you for caring about all of us on this forum. I appreciate your answers so much.
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I was thinking exercise, ff. Even a little gentle exercise will help.

The other thing I read just today in the NY Times was that those people who eat leafy greens like spinach, kale, collard greens, daily, score 11 years younger on the cognitive scale. I am partial to brussel sprouts and broccoli myself. I hope they qualify!!!

But, sadly, overall, we are in decline to some degree or another.
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Sooo, it's 7months later since I responded on this post...and I'm still ditzy as ever, wondering if my brain cells will ever come back.

And yes, CTTN55, my dad moved back to cabin with DH help. (3 months later he asked to go back to AL, after an ER visit and nurses coming to check on him at home.) While in the hosp. I desperately spoke with a sociol worker and begged for help stating I couldn't do it anymore. He got 2 weeks in home nurse care then asked us if we cared if he went back to AL. We got him moved back in within the next 2 weeks. 👍🏻 

I've really had a break from all the worrying since he moved back in late September BUT I'm not the same person. I feel different, can't pinpoint it exactly. Big blah and don't look forward to the future.

Only thing that's keeps me going is a new grand babygirl any day now.
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Oh when will my brain recover??? It's been over a year since my last parent had passed but I still haven't recovered physically or emotionally from those 7 years of so much darn stress.

There are some things I am still very sharp about, but it's the other things that I find my brain had gone on vacation without me. My typing is a mess, I will proofread and think who took over my hands !!!

I realized in the past I did feel much better and sharper whenever I did physical labor. But as I got older over those 7 years age related decline was catching up with me. My gosh I use to be able to work all day out in the yard. Now a days, 15 minutes will do me in, and then when squatting down to pull weeds, I couldn't get up.... now what?

Then again, I maybe too critical of myself, and over thinking this slow down on brain power.
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LOL Bella, I always spewed like a volcano whenever I was around other people, unfortunately since I never got out all I had to talk about was mom and dementia and caregiving!

Oh CTTN55, I see you have the same problem ;)
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At one time, I was beginning to get worried. Later, it got better. I needed stress relief, more good sleep (I got cpap), better nutrition (lost weight) and Coconut oil (works for me.).

I would also consider how YOUNG people seem to be as scattered as older ones a lot of the time. I see friends and family members who who are 20-40 years old and they can't keep up with keys, can't be relied on, because they forget so much, and never seem to have anything together. Maybe, their phone holds everything, so they have no need to use those brain muscles. lol
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Bella, I have to ask -- did your father's friend move him back to the cabin this past weekend?

My mother is so isolated that when she gets out she is trying to start conversations with anyone and everyone. I don't know how satisfactory her phone conversations with people are, since she doesn't appear to hear/follow what I'm saying on the phone. If she hasn't talked to me for a while, she gets "squawky." She asked if I noticed her voice sounded different, and I said yes. She briefly was concerned about throat or esphageal cancer, but that hasn't become a new obsession (thank goodness!).

If anyone asks me how my mother is, I have a tendency to go on and on. I really have to stop that!
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My short term memory is shot!
When I get around "normal" people I act stupid and talk non stop! I'm almost 55 and my kids are noticing it.
Dread "going to town" for fear of making fool of myself. It just feels so good to have conversations with "normal" people, it's like I get over stimulated or something. I hate it
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My brain isn't as sharp as it used to be when I was younger. My attention span is a lot shorter if I'm not really interested in something. It may be because I'm in an overstimulated, over-stressed state all the time. It has taken a toll on me. I can relate to what you're saying. I hope we can get something worked out in our generation so that younger people don't have to buy helmets and tote around finger pistols. We never know how big of a toll it will take on us until we're in it waist deep. Then we try to back away, but they are so dependent on us that it is hard.
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